Summary: The show continues with even more fun and insanity. If you liked the original episode I'm sure you'll like this one.
WARNING: contains drunkness
Categories: Fan Fiction Characters: Zelda, Link (OoT & MM), Impa
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Word count: 1071 Read: 9418
Published: Jul 04, 2005 Updated: Jul 04, 2005
Episode 2 by Paul2
*Link, Zelda, Ganon and Mido are at the bar. Link and Zelda are talking to eachother, Ganondorf is getting drunk and Mido is thinking up jokes for the show*
Zelda: So Link what are your plans for today. Are you going to be busy after the show.
Link: Me busy. Hell no I'm free for the whole week. How's about you and me go to the movies on saturday baby.
Ganondorf: *hicups* Hey...Link you want to see me drink a bottle of beer in a single gulp *belches*.
Link: Ewww! Ganon your breath smells like paint fumes.
Mido: Thats because I put paint in his water and told him it was just food coloring.
Ganondorf: Ahh you little punk. I'm gonna kick your puny ass.
*Ganon get's up and swings his fist at Mido but misses and hits the bartender by accident.
Bartender:OW!!! *falls down unconsious*
Zelda: Ganon you better stop drinking so much. Last time you drank this much you vommited on an old lady.
Link: *Laughs* Yeah and then she started hitting you with her purse.
Ganondorf: Shut up you little uh...whoa *loses his balance and falls to the ground*
Bartender: *wakes up with a black eye* Hey! You hit me you stupid Gerudo.
Link: I think we'd better get to the studio.
*at the studio Link, Zelda, Mido and Ganondorf sit at their desks*
Link: Hello and welcome ladies and gentleman to the Link show. Please say hello to my wife and musicion Zelda. My comedian Mido and my directer Ganondorf. *The audience cheers*
Link: Please welcome my guest, Impa. Ganon please lower the...hey? Where the hell did he go?!
*Ganon isn't sitting at his chair. He is in the audience stand talking to a girl*
Girl: Get away from me you freak!
Ganondorf: *hicups* Hey baby..hows it going. Hows about you and me go to the movies or something...yeah, heh heh.
*The girl reaches into her pocket book and maces Ganondorf*
Girl: Eat pepper spray you ugly loser!
Ganondorf: *covers his eyes in pain* AHHH! My eyes! I can't see wheres my desk...WHOA! *Ganondorf falls down the audience stand*
Link:GANONDORF!!! Get your pathetic ass behind your desk and pull up the curtain.
Impa: *from behind the curtain* Whats going on in there?
Ganondorf: Oh...ok. *pulls a lever that turns on the emergency sprinkler system* Whoops wrong one oh here we go *pulls the right lever and the curtain opens up to reveal Impa*
Link:You idiot! Now the whole set is soaked and so is my new tunic.
Zelda: You ruined my hair!
Mido: You ruined my new joke book! The pages are all soggy! How the hell am I gonna entertain the audience you big lumax!
Impa: Hey why is everything all wet...WHOA! *Impa slips on the wet floor and falls*Ow my head!
Ganondorf:*Laughs* Oh man...now thats funny *burps loudly*
Link:*Takes his coffee mug and throws it at Ganon. It smashes on his head* Take that you drunken weirdo!
Ganondorf:OW!!! HOT COFFEE! HOT! HOT!
Zelda: Nice one Link. That should shut him up for a while.
Link: Welcome to the show Impa. Please have a seat and ignore Ganon he's just a little drunk tonight.
Impa: Jeepers! I've never seen Ganondorf like this. No wonder his speech is all slurred.
Ganondorf: Hey Impa *Hicup* hows about a date. Heh heh, I know you want me.
Impa: If you touch me I'm calling the cops!
Link: Allright. Calm down you 2. Anyway Impa how has your life been now that Zelda is no longer a child and therefore does not need you as a bodyguard anymore?
Impa:Well life has been pretty good. I went back to Kakariko village only to find that some moron moved into my house so I kicked him out.
Mido:Isnt that the house with the cow in it?
Impa:Yeah! That stupid cow made the house smell like crap. It took me 6 bottles of air fresehener to get that foul smell out.
Zelda:How unfortunate. Something like that happened to a friend of mine. She stood too close to a candle in her room and her hair caught on fire.
Link:Whoa! Burning hair smells bad you know.
Zelda:Exactly. The smell didn't go away for 3 days.
Ganondorf:*holds up a beer bottle* Hey guys look. *he takes some gasoline and a rag and makes a molotov cocktail* Look, a molotov cocktail.*belches* Me and my friends make these all the time and we burn stuff. Heh heh...yeah..I love fire.
Mido:Hey be careful with that. Setting stuff on fire isn't funny.
Ganondorf: Bah! Youre a mediocre comedian...whoops. *drops the molotov cocktail and Ganon is engulfed in flames*
Zelda: *puts her hands to her face* OH MY GOD!!
Ganondorf:AHHHHHH!!! OHHH GOD!!! HELP!. Ganondorf jumps from his desk and runs around in circles, screaming*
Link: Hold on Ganondorf! *Grabs a fire extinguisher and puts Ganon out* Err...are you ok?!
Ganondorf: *coughs* I think so. How do I look?
Link: You look freaking horr..uh...I mean you look great.
Zelda: I'll call an ambulance *takes out her cell phone*. Hello, police. My friend is hurt please send an ambulance to Hyrule studio. Thanks, bye.
Ganondorf:Ohh...man. I am in so much pain now.
Mido: Well thats what you get for playing with fire.
*the ambulance arrives and takes Ganondorf away*
Doctor:He'll be ok but his face is ruined. He should be back in shape in a few weeks.
Link:Ok, thanks.
*doctor walks out. Ambulance drives away*
Impa: Poor Ganon. I actually feel sorry for the poor bastard.
*long pause*
Link, Zelda, Mido and Impa:Oh well.
Link:Anything else you'd like to tell us Impa?
Impa:Yeah. I got a new car. It's a red hummer. I can't believe how big they are.
Mido: Oh man, I've always wanted a hummer. How did you manage to pay for it?
Impa:I didn't. I stole it from the guy who used to live in my house.
Zelda:So that's why that guy walks home from work.
Link:Ok since we're almost out of time. Goodnight everyone and tune in next time for The Link Show.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.