Summary: Burn is a lonely boy in a lonely town living a lonly life amidst utter chaos. His father's a perv, his grandfather a nut, his brother went off to seek riches in Terminina, and his brother's dumb ex-girlfriend won't leave him alone. Now from beyond the stars drops a Gerudo defender sent forth to stop alien robots from destroying Hyrule. Where do the Alien robots come from? Well, Burn's head for starters. Based on the Manga FLCL by Gainex comes this bizarre tale of adolescence in a world gone mad.
Categories: Fan Fiction Characters: Zelda
Chapters: 7 Completed: No
Word count: 9104 Read: 95016
Published: Oct 01, 2004 Updated: Jul 07, 2005
2-b (pt. 2) by Burn
Chapter 2-b part two
Burn: HELP MEEEE!!
(A huge hand has emerged from where the zit/penus thing was. The hand, still attached to Burns forehead, lands on the ground and leaps foreword at an old lady. Nabooru looks on as she pulls off her helmet. The lady stares at the hand with shock. Nabooru begins to walk towards the scene.)
Old Lady: (shakes it off) What a freakin' ruckus. These kids...
Burn: umm umm kum!
Old Lady: He's talking to me! The nerve! Can't understand what he's saying anyways, his mouth is full of food or something.
(Another robotic hand spurts out of Burn's head. Together the hands push against Burn, and finally a robot's head pops out.)
Robot: I said you're really hot!! And my mouth isn't full of food!!
(The old lady runs away in fear.)
Robot: Wait up! I wanna touch you!!
(The robot takes its arms and forces itself out of Burn's head completely. It flies out of Burn and uses jets to chase after the old lady.)
Robot: Wait! You're so sexy! Touch my body! You wanna go get high?!
(The robot traps the old lady in a corner and picks her up.)
Robot: Prepare to feel my cold, steel tongue in your sexy mouth!
(ANOTHER hand leaps out from Burn and grabs the robot by the ankle. It pulls the robot away from the old lady and throws it down the alley into a wall, smashing a wall, burying Nabooru and Zelda under stone. Nabooru climbs out from the rubble and pulls out a strange device.)
Nabooru: (talking in the device) Stardate: 0401-8532...Just kidding! Project: Earth Agent 340...Just kidding! I am Nabooru for action 10 news reporting that an old lady was nearly raped by a robot...Just kidding! I am reporting the outbreak of and enemy element. For real!!
(Nabooru crawls in closer to the robot.)
Nabooru: Serial number is...obscured.
(The third hand leaps and tackles the robot. It tries to separate from Burn, but the robot attacks it.)
Nabooru: (surprised) Hey it appears to be TWO enemy elements!! They might be battling it out. Like two spouses in a domestic disturbance! Or two geese making sweet love!!
(The hand takes a jab at the robot's torso. The robot grabs the hand and flings it through the air. The Robot runs towards the hand and kicks it, smashing the wrist, causing it to break away from Burn. An eye opens in the hand's palm and glares at the robot evilly. The Hand flies through the air and lands in the street, crippled and smoking. It blinks once and explodes.)
(Zelda slowly opens her eyes as she lies in the middle of the street. Her video game, "Fire Starter", lies next to her. She reaches her arm out and pushes a button.)
"Endsville, The City of Devils...
...spreads its evil through the world like a virus.
You are an agent of Cantido, the God of Black Flames.
You slog away day and night to purge the city of demons, thereby stopping Endsville from destroying the world.
If you falter in even the slightest degree, the City of Devils will overpower you and consume the earth. Your battle is, therefore, endless..."
(Zelda sits up and stares at the robot as she recites aloud the story of the game aloud. And, in her mind, it looks like the God of Black Flames, Beckoning her to help it. The Robot walks over to Burn and picks him up. It turns and stares back at Zelda for a few minutes. All of the sudden, a shadow appears over the robot, and Zelda sees Nabooru flying at them with her guitar.)
Nabooru: HERE I COME AND GET IT, YOU METAL FREAK!!
(Nabooru literally assaults the robot, and it's dead body falls down behind her. Zelda walks over to Burn and touches the spot on his forehead. Her eyes suddenly dilate and she falls feints. Nabooru stands between Burn and Zelda, both unconsciouses, with the robot's dead body behind her.)
Nabooru: (talking to Daru-Daru, who has watched the whole scene from a corner) This ain't over...
(Back to the story of chapter two.)
Burn: That's my flashback. The robot survived, and now is working with Nabooru as a maid in our house. Besides asking us if we wanted to get high, it never has talked...we've named it TV-kun. That giant hand with the eye... I think it's gone. I can't be sure though. I've just got a weird feeling about it. What if it's not dead...?
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.