Link's Life by Evil King
Summary: I can't think of a good summary. But it's basically about Link and life stinks for him. Warning:It might have some adult language. And in later chapters will probably have a lot of violence.
Categories: Fan Fiction Characters: Link (OoT & MM)
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: No Word count: 5063 Read: 17373 Published: Nov 11, 2004 Updated: Nov 11, 2004

1. Life Sucks by Evil King

2. Just Ask by Evil King

3. The Sun Set by Evil King

Life Sucks by Evil King
Link patted Epona on the head and climbed on. Link wasn’t feeling especially good on this day. The weak before Link had been hired for a job as a guard for the royal family and he got paid barely enough to get him food. But it was better than living off the money he got off poes. He liked hanging out with the princess after his shift. “Come on Epona lets go” Said Link as he rubbed Epona on the side of her head. Epona began to gallop to the castle. “Come on hurry up, I’m gonna be late” said Link.
They passed the gate to Lon Lon Ranch. The gate to the market began to close. Link stomach began to growl. “I NEED food I haven’t eaten in 2 days” whined Link. When they reached the gate to the Market it was nearly closed. Link’s mind raised trying to think of what to do. Link pulled out his hookshot and fired it at the top of the gate. He was lifted off Epona and slammed against the gate. Then Link climbed into the market and jumped down next to a building that had a lot of pots filled with money. Link began to walk at the building. “No wait I got arrested for doing that last time” thought Link. Link kicked a rock on the ground in frustration. “Life sucks. Why was I born I’m never happy” Said Link out loud. Link rubbed his eyes and kept walking towards the castle.
Link passed a group of kids with there parents eating fresh deserts they had bought from the market. What he would have done to be able to have treats like them. Link looked down at his clothes he was wearing an old tunic that had rips all over it. Suddenly a strong wind blew. Link hat flew off his head and landed in the well that was in the middle of the market. Link tried to catch it but it was no use. A group of boys about 14 that had nice clothes and looked pretty happy began to laugh at him. “That’s not funny” said Link as a tear trickled down his cheek. “Now that’s not nice” said the boys mother. “I’m sorry sir” apologized the old woman. Link reached in his pocket and took out a rubber band. He took his long hair that he had kept up in his hat and put his hair up in a ponytail. Link stepped onto a stone walk way to the castle. Link passed several monuments that looked like they were in honor of royal family. Link’s long eyelashes got in his eyes. His eyes watered when they touched his pupil. He circled his eyes around and his lashes went back to normal. Link’s foot got caught on a tree stump and he fell over on his face. Link stood up and felled his face. Rocks had torn his face and blood was flowing slowly from the cuts. He wiped the blood of his face with his arm.
Link herd an ocarina begin to play. Link looked up the balcony outside Zelda’s room. Zelda was there with an ocarina to her lips playing a song Link had never herd. When Link stopped staring at Zelda he walked into the castle and walked through the halls to the guard room. All of his fellow guards were already there. “Hey Link kinda late aren’t you” teased one of the guards. “Do you always have to give me shit when I’m late” said Link trying not to loose his temper. “Would you like me to tell your wife that you got put down a rank, and that’s why you don’t have so much money” threatened Link. “I had to sneak into the ranch last night so I could sleep keep warm last night” said Link forcing himself not to pull out his sword. “You don’t have to freak out Link” said another guard trying to calm him down. “I’m sorry it’s just my life is really screwed up” said Link. Link began to calm down a little bit.
“Well it’s my shift so I’ll see you later” called Link as he walked out the door and headed for Zelda’s room. Link passed several large suits of armor. He knocked on Zelda’s door. “Just a minute” Yelled Zelda. The door opened. Zelda was standing in the door way, her hair was messy and her dress was not zipped in the back. “Come in” said Zelda as she grabbed Link by the arm and pulled him in. “Hey Zelda how are you” said Link nervously. “Oh I’m pretty good it’s just I can’t reach the zipper on my back” replied Zelda. She started trying to reach the zipper but she couldn’t. “Here let me help” offered Link. “That would help me out a lot” said Zelda. Link took the zipper with two fingers and carefully pulled up. “Thanks a lot” said Zelda in relief. Zelda picked up a brush and began to brush her hair. Link couldn’t believe how smooth her hair was. When she brushed her hair it un-tangled like magic, Link compared this to his hair. When he brushed his hair he broke the brush because it just wouldn’t go through.
“Hey Link do think you could help me put my hair up like yours” asked Zelda. “You don’t know how put your hair up in a ponytail” asked Link in a surprised voice. “No, Impa said that it isn’t right for a princess to have a ponytail and have her bangs hang in her eyes” Zelda put her lips together and let air slowly come out. “OK. I think I can put your hair in a simple ponytail” said Link as he walked towards the princess. “Sorry if I pull your hair a little” warned Link. “Its okay It doesn’t matter” said Zelda. Link quickly put Zelda hair up in a messy ponytail like his. “Thank you, it looks great”. “Oh, wait just a sec” said Link as he pulled her long bangs out from the ponytail. “Link. From now on I don’t want you to think of yourself as my personal guard but as a friend. You’ve been working here for nearly two weeks and all you’ve done is nice things for me. So I think of you as my friend” said Zelda. “A friend” thought Link. He had never had any real friends but Saria. “you do” asked Link. “Well you are friendlier than any other guard that has got this shift” said Zelda. Link couldn’t believe this, he was friends with the princess? “I know that you probably have a really hard life and I’m glad you aren’t mean because of it” said Zelda as she gave Link a hug. “Do you want to play the ocarina with me” asked Zelda trying to get off the subject. “yah shure. Can you teach me how to play that song you were playing out on your balcony” asked Link. “Of course it isn’t a very hard song to learn” answered Zelda. They both took out their ocarinas and Zelda started teaching Link the notes to the song. They did this for about half an hour then they started playing song that they had written. Eventually one of them would play a song that they wrote and the other would play in the background. After hours of doing this Zelda got tired and went to sleep. Link got his ocarina and packed it up then went to the market to see if there was some place he could sleep.
Link’s stomach felt like it was going to dry up. He needed something to eat but all of the shops were closed at night. “Come on! What did I do to have to live like this” yelled Link in frustration. He walked over to a trash can and took off the lid. He pulled out a stale bag of chips that luckily weren’t already taken. Link put the bag of chips into his right hand and kept digging. He came across a couple of old fish heads but wouldn’t eat them. Think stood up with his bag of chips and kicked the trash can over. “There now I don’t have dig in fish heads” said Link triumphantly. “Oooooo is that what I think it is” thought Link as he grabbed something from the pile of garbage. He picked up an untouched piece of broccoli. “It IS what I think it is” said Link out loud with joy. Link ate a bite of the vegetable and saved the rest for later. Link sat down on two boxes that were nearby. He took off his over shirt and wrapped it around his hand. Then Link put his hand under his head and closed hid eyes.
Just Ask by Evil King
Link’s eyes opened slowly. The sun was bright and his body felt like shit, not that that was out of the ordinary. “Time to get me some food” thought Link. He slowly stepped of the boxes he slept on. He could smell fresh treats just waiting for someone to eat. He walked over to a stand with a hood on it so the shop keeper wouldn’t get the sun in his eyes. “I would like…” Link thought about what he had eaten In the past weak. “No never mind” said Link as he walked to a stand that had vegetables and fruit. “Could I have an apple” asked Link. “That would be 5 rupees” answered the shop keeper. “Uh just a sec” replied Link as he reached into his pocket. “All I have is 2 is there any thing else” asked Link. “Yes for 2 Rupees you can buy a dried orange” replied the shop keeper. “Is that it” groaned Link. “Afraid so” answered the shop keeper. “Oh alright” said Link as he handed the man his last bit of money until he got paid. “Great” said the shop keeper as he handed Link his dried orange. “Oh yes this is going to a just great lunch, dinner, and breakfast” said Link sarcastically. “Tell you the truth I don’t think I can have more than one piece of this crap a day” added Link. Link stomped off. “I’ll go to the castle and see if I can see Zelda” thought Link. Link ate a bite of dried orange. “Ewwwww this stuff sucks”. “I wish I didn’t buy this crap, I would rather eat out of the garbage” thought Link. “I need more money I can’t keep eating stuff like this” said Link. “Got it! I can get a full time job at the castle. That should get more money than this” yelled Link. Link started walking back to the castle. The castle doors were wide open and there were to guards standing in front of it. Link continued to walk forward. He walk past the guards and stepped in side the castle. A guard ran up to Link and told him that the King would like to see him. Link began to walk to the throne room. He opened the large doors to the king throne room. “Link” yelled the king. “A guard told me that you were not doing your job properly when you were on your shift” “Well, I was playing the ocarina with your daughter” confessed Link. “That’s not what the guard said” replied the King. “What are you saying” asked Link. “I’m asking what you really did with my daughter” yelled the king. “That’s all I did, why would I lie”. “Are you shure” asked the king leaning his head forward. “Yes” replied Link. “You sir go fetch the princess” ordered the king pointing at one of the guards. “Yes your highness” replied the guard. “What could they think we were doing” thought Link. “Maybe someone framed me”. The guard came back with Zelda a few minutes later. “Zelda come hear” ordered the king. “Yes daddy” replied Zelda. Zelda walked up to her father. She leaned forward as the king whispered something in her ear. “NO, how could you even think that” yelled Zelda after she herd what her father had to say. Zelda ran back to her room. “What the heck could they have been talking about” thought Link. Link hung around the castle until he had to go to work. He walked through the corridors of the castle looking at sculptures. Some of them he thought were pretty good. Link looked at a clock on the wall. “Oh shit, it’s 8:56” whispered Link. “I only have 4 minutes to find my way through this huge castle” worried Link. Link began to walk fast. “Think, think… kay so Zelda’s room is at the far west… so this way” whispered Link. “Oh man, I forgot to ask for a full time job” remembered Link. Link continued to wander through the castle. “I must be late now” thought Link. Link found Zelda’s room after what seemed Like forever. Link knocked on Zelda’s door. The door flew open. He was surprised at what he saw, there was a guard standing in the door way. “What the fuck are you doing here” asked Link. “You got fired, the king thinks that you don’t do your job right” replied the guard. “What! How do I not do might job right” asked Link about to loose his temper. “Playing the ocarina? Does that sound like doing your job” replied the guard. “How do you do your job” asked Link. “Well let me see… I stand guard like I should” said the guard in a “dah” sorta voice. The guard slammed the door in Link’s face. Link turned around and punched the wall in frustration. “What did you do” asked Zelda as the guard went back to his spot in the corner of her room. “I told him that he got fired” replied the guard simply. “Well you must have done more than that. Did you hear him punch the wall? You pissed him off bad if he did that” yelled Zelda. “No I didn’t” replied the guard. Zelda opened her door and stomped out. She noticed that one of the paintings had fallen so she quickly set it back on the nail it was hanging on. “Link! Wait” called Zelda. Link turned his head. “Oh hey Zelda” replied Link. “What’s the matter Link, you don’t look so good” asked Zelda. “No it’s ok I don’t want to trouble you with my problems” replied Link as he began walking back down the hall. “Hey! I’m the princess and I want to know” yelled Zelda.
Link turned around and started walking back towards Zelda. “Well if I must. I don’t have any money. I have nothing to eat and I just got fired so that didn’t help me out at all” replied Link. “Link why didn’t you just say so” asked Zelda. “I’m the princess do you have any idea how much money I have”. “No. how much” asked Link. “Well I don’t know but way more than I need” replied Zelda. “If you need some money just ask me” reassured Zelda. “I appreciate the offer but I want to try and figure out how to make my self happy. I don’t just want to take money from someone” said Link. “Well actually can I just have enough for a burrito or something” asked Link. “yah shure” said Zelda as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a purple rupee. “That’s enough money for 10 burritos” said Link. “I know” said Zelda as she forced Link to take the money. Link carefully placed his gift into his pocket. “Thank you so much” said Link. “No problem, that isn’t very much money anyway” replied Zelda. Link gave Zelda a brief hug and left the castle. “I can’t believe I got fired” thought Link. Link walked past all the guards outside the castle and went out the main gate. Link walked into the market and thought of what he should buy with his money. “Well I can’t buy food yet, but what about a hotel” thought Link. Link walked into a hotel that was to his left. “Excuse me, how much money does it cost to stay for a night” asked Link as he walked up to the front desk. “5 rupees” answered the woman standing behind the desk. Link pulled out his purple rupee and then handed it to the woman. “so you aren’t going to sneak in the window this time” asked the woman. “No, of course not” answered Link. “Well here’s your change” said the woman as she handed Link 2 red rupees and a blue one. “Thanks” called Link as he walked down the hall to his room. “Ok so room 31” said think. “here it is” said Link as he unlocked the room. “This is beautiful” thought Link as he felt the pillows and jumped on the couch. The room was pretty small but kind of cozy, it had a small bed with white sheets and blankets. There was a small stove that Link had no idea how to use and wasn’t going to try. A lamp was next to the bed. Link took off his shirt and jumped onto the bed. “This is the comfiest bed I’ve ever been in” thought Link. “Well almost. Zelda’s is way better”. Link took the rubber band out of his hair and put it on a shelf on the other side of the bed. Link explored his room a little more and found a piece of paper. It said “Any one who is staying the night can take a free bath. Or can swim in our 60 foot swimming pool.” Link threw the piece of paper and ran out the door. He asked the clerk were the swimming pool was. “Its down the hall and to the left” she said. Link ran down the hall and turned left. There it was, a huge swimming pool that was unoccupied. Link didn’t stop to look but just kept running. He jumped and curled into a ball. SPLASH! Link was in the pool and swimming on his back. “Now this IS the way to live” said Link. Link swam around for hours. When he finished his dried of with a towel he found on the ground and walked back to his room to sleep in a bed for the first time in years.
The Sun Set by Evil King
First thing’s first: when you see this ~a couple of words~ that means that Link is thinking in his head.

~I need to figure out what to do with my life. I’ve spent 17 years doing nothing~ Link had been up in his bed thinking hours. ~I’ve tried becoming a soldier but they said I was to kind and didn’t have what it takes to fight. I don’t understand why I have to be a complete ass to be able to be able to fight. I bet I can fight better than all of those other soldiers, I just don’t want to have to be a jerk~ Link set his feet on the floor and stood up. He stretched and put his shirt back on. ~I guess I could go and try out for a couple of jobs at the castle. But I can’t do anything but fight. I’ve spent years practicing with my sword and other weapons I’ve found and I can’t use my skills for anything~ Link grabbed the rubber band that he had set on table and put his hair in a ponytail again. “Well time to start another day” said Link as he slipped his boots on. Link straitened out the blankets on the bed next to him and then walked out of the room. “I’m checking out” called Link as he closed the door to the hotel. Link began to walk to the castle. “I hope Zelda will let me hang out in her room” mumbled Link. ~Or rather I hope that that fucking guard does~ Link began to sprint up to the castle. ~And while I’m there I can figure out what the king whispered into Zelda’s ear~ Link herd the same song that Zelda had been playing 2 days earlier. He looked up and Zelda was out on her balcony playing her ocarina. ~That song makes me feel so good~ Link didn’t know what he liked about that song so much maybe it was because when he would hear it he started thinking of Zelda. “Hey Zelda” yelled Link cupping his hands around his mouth. Zelda stopped playing the ocarina and looked down. “Hi Link. What’s up” yelled Zelda back. “I just wanted to see you that’s all” answered Link still yelling. “Oh, alright, come on up” yelled Zelda. “Be right up” yelled Link. Link ran up the stairs leading to the castle entrance. Link opened the large doors and stepped inside. He walked up he stairs and then eventually found Zelda’s room. Link knocked and the door opened. I was that damn guard. “I thought you had a later shift” said Link. “I did but I got a promotion” replied the guard. Link pushed him to the side and walked in. “Hey Link” said Zelda. She was trying to put her hair in a ponytail. “Here let me help” said Link as he carefully put Zelda hair up. “Thanks” said Zelda. “No problem” replied Link. “Why did you get fired” asked Zelda. “For playing the ocarina on my shift, and for supposedly doing whatever I did” replied Link. “What! You got fired for playing the ocarina with me” screamed Zelda in rage. “And for doing whatever they think I did” said Link. “Well in that case… your fired” said Zelda pointing her finger at the guard on duty. “Hey you can’t do that” protested the guard. “I just did. So pack up your stuff and get out of my room NOW” said Zelda to the guard. “I going to the king” said the guard as he opened the door and then slammed it behind him. “Zelda what was it that your dad whispered into your ear” asked Link. “Oh that. One of the guards went up to him the other day and told him that we were um… well he pretty much framed you for something totally unbelievable” said Zelda as she bit her lip. “What for” demanded Link. Zelda leaned forward and whispered something in Link’s ear. “Are you serious “ asked Link hoping it wasn’t true. “Yes, dead serious” replied Zelda. “Well don’t you think that other people would have noticed that” asked Link. “Well dah. A lot more than one person would have noticed that” answered Zelda. “I wouldn’t do that anyway. It would dishonor my family” reassured Zelda. “That’s true” remembered Link. “Well can we never speak of this again. It is really embarrassing that someone thought that. And if I find out who framed you, I’ll have them kicked out of this castle for good” said Zelda. “How about we play the ocarina” suggested Zelda again trying to get off the subject. “Sounds like fun, and this time I won’t get fired for it” said Link as he took out his ocarina. They played for hours and Zelda taught Link another song. They eventually got sick of it. ~I wander if she would like to go see the sun set at Lake Hylia. That’s one of my favorite things to do~ “Zelda would you like to go to the lake with me” asked Link nervously. “You want to go on a date” asked Zelda. “No.” said Link. “I don’t mean as my boyfriend. You can go on a date with someone and you don’t have to be in love” reassured Zelda. ~I think I might be in love~ “Oh. Ok” said Link. “Well lets go” said Zelda. ~Is going out with the princess as a boyfriend even legal~ Link and Zelda raised down the stairs and than went out the front door. Link pulled out his ocarina. He played Epona’s song. Epona ran through the market and up to Link. “Wow, what a beautiful horse” complimented Zelda as she stroked Epona on he side. “Come on. Let’s go” said Link as he picked Zelda up and set her down on Epona’s back. “Thanks Link” said Zelda. “Your welcome” replied Link. “Lake Hylia” said Link as he patted Epona on the head. Epona started to run at full speed. “Why did you say that” asked Zelda. “I showed Epona all of the major parts of Hyrule, and then trained her to go to them when I said them and patted her on the head” answered Link. “That’s really cool” complimented Zelda. Epona almost hit a few people that were in front of her but narrowly dodged them all. Epona went through the huge gate into Hyrule field. “Hey Zelda, why didn’t that guard come back” asked Link. “He got fired, remember” answered Zelda. “Oh”. Epona jumped over 2 large fences and then galloped into Lake Hylia. “This lake is the best spot in Hyrule to see the sun set” said Link as Zelda jumped off Epona into his arms. “But in order to fully enjoy it first I have to get rid of all of these pesky crows” said Link as he took out his bow and then an arrow. “I want to help” complained Zelda. “Ok, you can use my old slingshot” said Link as he handed Zelda his slingshot. “Great tool for hitting those guards in front of the castle” chuckled Link. “You used to hit guard with this thing” asked Zelda holding up the slingshot. “Used to? I still do” confessed Link. “You’re so bad” said Zelda as she pushed Link lightly on the shoulder. Link tipped a little but didn’t fall. Zelda raised the slingshot and then shot a crow. “Wow you’re good at this. Link reached into his quiver for another arrow. Then he put it under the other. “Watch this” said Link as he raised his bow. Link let both of the arrows go. Surprisingly two of the nasty birds were next to each other and each arrow hit a different bird. “Holy shit” said Zelda. “Have you ever thought about how funny “holy shit” is Zelda” asked Link. “No” answered Zelda. “Well think about it. That would mean that the goddesses blessed it or took it” laughed Link. Zelda began to laugh a little. “That is a lot funnier now that I think of it” chuckled Zelda. “Zelda look! The sun is about to set” Pointed out Link. The sky was light pink with all sorts of different shades of orange were blended in with it. “It’s so beautiful” said Zelda in amazement. “I’m glad you brought me hear Link, the sun set isn’t half as pretty at the castle as it is hear” said Zelda. “Yah I used to come hear every night but then I got a job” said Link. ~I wish I had the courage to tell her how I feel~ “Let’s go over to that small island over there. You can see the sun set much better” suggested Link. “OK” agreed Zelda as she stood up and dusted herself off. They both walked across the bridge that leaded to an island that had a perfect view of the sun. Link moved out of the way when he got to the end of the bridge. “Lady’s first” said Link. Zelda walked off the bridge and laid down on her stomach then rested her head on her hands Link did the same. They sat there talking for a long time. “Before I started working at the castle I used to sleep here” remembered Link. “Ooooo. Could we camp out” yelled Zelda. “You really want to” asked Link. “Yes my dad wouldn’t like it but I don’t care” answered Zelda. “Well then I guess. You might get a little bit col… actually you have o huge dress so I wouldn’t worry” said Link. “Well you can go to bed whenever you want. I’m going to start a fire if that’s alright with you” said Link checking if it was ok. “Of course you can I’m not your boss” replied Zelda. “Be back in a minute” called Link as he ran across the bridge. Link cut a couple of trees and then stacked them on the ground. Then he used an arrow as a spear so he could catch a couple of fish to eat. Link walked across the bridge with a stack of wood and a few fish in his arms. “Kay I got some fish that I can cook” said Link as he dropped the wood and fish. He picked a couple of dried up sticks that fell of the tree above them and then asked Zelda for some perfume. “What do you need perfume for” asked Zelda. “Just let me see it please” answered Link. Zelda handed Link a bottle of perfume that she had in her pocket, then Link took a lighter out of his pocket. “Stand back” warned Link. He lit the lighter and the sprayed Zelda’s perfume at the flame. A burst of flame appeared like magic. It lit the sticks and Link gradually put more wood on it. “How do you like your fish” asked Link as he placed another piece of wood on the fire. “It doesn’t matter” replied Zelda. Link stuck two fish on an arrow and then held the arrow up until he thought they were done. Link and Zelda stayed up all night talking and eating fish. Eventually they passed out.
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