Announcer- Hello and welcome to the Wheel of Fortune!

*Crowd boos… er cheers*

Announcer- Please welcome your host, Saria! And her lovely assistant, Zelda!

Saria- *coughs* Um…hi everyone. This is uh…well my um… first time hosting a show…so uh please don’t be brutal.

*Ganondorf throws a tomato at her head and snickers*

Saria- OUCH! Um…Thanks.

*Darunia throws a rock at her head and high-fives Nabooru*

Saria-*passes out *

Ganondorf- Now I shall dominate this audience by stealing her voice application device and hosting this amateur show!

Ruto- Uh…It’s like, called a microphone. And I like truffles!

Ganondorf- Shut your fudging mouth, child.*steals mic* Now I must host this show!

Zelda- Must you?

Ganondorf- Yes. Now shove a cow ass down your throat and let me handle this. Now people, we have three contestants. First, coming all the way from trailer fish park –erm-  Zora’s Domain, clap it up from Princess Fishgirl! * Crowd sort of claps*

Ruto- My name is I think.

Ganondorf- Okay then, I think. Next, coming from fat land, it’s Rauru! *Crowd moans*

Rauru- Butter.

Ganondorf- Sure. And last and least, coming from my ass, it’s Link! *Crowd goes wild*

Link- Thank you. *waves and licks wheel*

Ganondorf- Thanks Sir Bite Me. Now Zelda, go to the maniacal letter board, will you?

Zelda-*Sigh* Well, yes.

Ganondorf- Bitch. Ok, the category is Sages. Ruto, you spin first.

Ruto- My name is Turkey!

Ganondorf- I am not sorry.

Ruto- I’d like to thank Saint Fudge!

Link- Spin the frickin’ wheel!

Ruto- Anything for you! *Spins wheel and it barely moves* Yay, I got 100!

Ganondorf- Say a letter.

Ruto- *thinks hard* Hmm…I say… Malibu Barbie ‘cause she is hot!

Ganondorf- No, a letter you moron.

Ruto- Oh…Blue!

Link- I wanna join a gang.

Rauru- Pocket!

Ruto- Is sock a letter?

Ganondorf- Just say A!

Ruto- A!

Ganondorf- Thank you! Yes, there are three A’s.

*Zelda touches screen and 3 A’s pop up.*

Rauru- This means I shall eat cookies!

Link- *licks Rauru’s elbow* you taste like shit.

Rauru- *licks Link’s leg* you taste like toilet paper.

Link- Oh yeah?

Rauru- No!

*Both keep on licking each other until it becomes extremely inappropriate*

Saria- Okay, I uh…think I’m good. *looks at Rauru lick Link’s ass* Holy crap! *passes out yet again*

Ganondorf- Frickin’ get off each other, perverted jerks!

Rauru- Salt!

Link- Ohhh baby, yeah * kisses Rauru*

Ganondorf- Shitbags.

Zelda- Get on with the show!

Rauru- Slow go on the Yogos!

Link- Ch-Ch-Ch Chia!

Ruto- Cha Cha Cha! Charmin!

Ganondorf- I’m a big kid now!

Zelda- Limited Too. It’s a girl’s world!

Saria- I’m…a…se…se…sexy bitch*drops dead*

Darunia- BUNNY ATTACK!

*Everyone runs and screams*

Ganondorf- STOPPP! *Everyone stops in time* Thanks. *takes ice cream from Mido* K, keep running. *everyone runs again* Wow. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. OMG Shoes.

Link- Rauru, I don’t like you anymore. *starts to do the disco*.

Rauru- Blackberry!

Ruto- I won!

Link- Then I shall see how many pounds of beer I could drink in 5 minutes. Bye! *leaves while humping his arm*

Ruto*gasps* Tonight is the last night for Zora pudding in Jabu-Jabu’s belly! Ok, I gotta go! *runs fast*

Zelda- You all suck. Bye!*leaves, skipping*

Rauru- Eggs! *sleeps*

Ganondorf- Hmm...What? What are you still doing here?

*You shrug*

Ganondorf- Get out before I sew your ass to your face.

*You RUN!*

Ganondorf- Good night! Happy Valentine’s Day! SEND ME A FRICKIN’ CARD!