"Holy shit...how did you...?"
"You see, we were once a race. When we were exiled to the mountains, and to all other kinds of remote places, we became more of a group of outlaws. That is how there are so many of us. Hylians, Gorons, Zora...many peoples."
"Yeah, but THIS MANY?"
One hundred and fifty thousand of the Dark Ones were gathered at the plains behind Hyrule Castle, and some were up into the mountains. The crowd of warriors seemed to extend for miles.
"Princess Zelda, do we have a battle plan yet?" Impa was a lot more calm now, as she felt a little bit better about the odds. Zelda was still a little jumpy, but that was just her personality. After the hell she had been through with the alterate timeline and everything, it was suprising anything got to Zelda.
"Have your men wait here. We must meet with the others."
"I want to represent my people."
"Okay, Unco. Let's go."
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Link was very slow getting out of bed. He knew what was coming. He pulled his clothing on quietly. He packed up everything he had that might be useful. His magic spells, his magic arrows, several Magic Jars, the Longshot, and the Peacemaker. He walked out the door to leave for the castle...and was met by every single Kokiri in the forest. Saria and Mido stood in front of them.
"Hey Link." Link waved at Saria, with a look on his face that showed everyone he had no clue what the hell was going on.
"Since you're going out there to save the world, we felt like seeing you off. The Deku Tree also said you would find this useful." Link climbed down to the ground. Four Kokiri brought out a giant treasure chest. "He said you would understand." Link opened the chest and looked inside. He pulled out the contents as he had many times before...
"You have GOT to be kidding me." Link held up a bong made out of a wooden replica of the Deku Tree Sprout. "How the fuck am I going to save Hyrule with this?"
"If all else fails, you can get stoned before you die...?"
"Fuck you, Mido."
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Talon looked out the window at Lon Lon Ranch. He could see that there were many gathered behind the castle, but he could not see any more.
"What the hell's going on over there?"
Malon was brushing her hair over in the corner. "I don't know, Daddy. Maybe they're going to see The Who."
Talon looked back at his daughter. "So your boyfriend's somewhere in that mess?"
"No, he's right here." Talon heard the unmistakeable sound of the Longshot. Link then hopped in the window. Link had used that trick many times back in the day. Malon gave Link a big hug.
"Hey, boy. Shouldn't you be out there with them?"
"Them?" Link looked out the window to see what Talon was talking about. "What in the blue hell...? I've got to get out there." Link turned and gave Malon a quick kiss. Before she could say anything, he was out the door.
"He's got to do what he's got to do, Malon."
"It's just not fair...that's my Link, goddammit!"
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"Thank you all for coming...again..."
"Fuck the formalities, Princess. Let's kick some ass!"
"Show some fucking respect, Darunia!"
Link ran up to join the commanders. "Can you guys knock it off? THere's a really big fucking army right behind the castle!"
Unco grinned. "I know. It's mine. We're out here to help you."
Link looked the man up and down. "O...kay...I'd say I don't trust you, but Hyrule is fucked without your help. Link."
"Unco. Anyways, here's the proposed plan. My army splits into two. Half goes with the Gorons and Zora to take down the ships to the east. The Zoras will attack from the sea, and the Gorons from the air on the mountaintop. The other half will go with the Gerudos and Hylians to protect the desert lands. They will use stealth and suprise attack in varied points from the Spirit Temple all the way down the tunnel system to the fortress. And in the fortress will be waiting about 75,000 troops. The guard will be staying at the castle, and Link, you will personally guard Zelda." Link and Zelda, despite the connection between them, had really never spoken more than two minutes at a time. You could thank the late King for that one.
"Anybody have any questions or better suggestions?"
"Yeah." Nabooru raised her hand. "Why don't we just collapse the damn tunnel and make them die in the Haunted Wasteland?"
Unco knew the truth: that Lych could make it through that wasteland without trying. Instead, he came up with some bullshit reasons. "One, we can ambush them in the tunnel. Two, do you really want to knock it down?"
"All right."
"Anybody else?" Nobody seemed to have anything to say.
"Let's move out then."
