Ocarina of Time ReMix
By: Red Sparrow
Zelda was a smart girl. She was also a very young girl, she was nine years old. One night, she had a dream. In that dream, she saw a large dark storm cloud hovering above Hyrule. Suddenly, a beam of light flowed from the forest and seared through the darkness.
She saw this as a prophecy. The storm cloud, she thought, would only symbolize one man. Ganondorf Dragmire, the king from the desert. At first glance of this man, she felt the dark ambitions coursing through his veins.
She had voiced her concerns to her father, but she was utterly advised that she was only a child with an active imagination.
And here she was, watching this foul man from the desert chatting it up with her father like it was nobody’s business. She was in her courtyard, watching through a small window. If her dreams were correct, then there should be a sign, a sign from the forest of some sort. Maybe someone was coming. Someone who would be able to help her stop this man from his dark desires, she knew what Ganondorf wanted, he wanted the Triforce. She had overheard him talking with one of his lower ranks.
There was a rustle behind her. She gasped and turned around.
To her surprise, she saw nothing. She looked left, right, up...and then down.
There, at her feet, was the source of the sound.
It was...a little cucco in a green tunic. The little cucco chicken thing clucked at her and tilts his head to the side.
Zelda blinked and knelt to the chicken, “Uhm...what are you doing here?”
The chicken responded, “cluck-cluck! Puh-cock!!!”
Zelda thought she was going nuts, “...Wait...you can understand me?”
The chicken clucked its response and nodded his head. Zelda looked unsure, “Are you...from the forest?”
The chicken clucked.
Zelda stood back up and said slowly, “I guess you’re the...guy...from my dreams. Uhm...it’s weird, I thought you’d be...more like me...”
The chicken looked offended, and clucked at her angrily.
She shook her head quickly, “—Not that theres anything wrong with you!”
“Ok,” she began. She was shaken by the fact that the hero that was going to save Hyrule was a chicken, “Basically, theres this guy...his name is Ganondorf. He wants to take over Hyrule by using the power of the gods...the Triforce. You know about the Triforce, right?”
The chicken nodded.
Zelda sighed, “Do you have a name?”
The chicken replied, “Cluck-cluck-cluck! Puh-cock! Cluck! [Cluck the third]”
Zelda blinked, “How about I call you...Clink? Yeah, Clink is good.”
The chicken thought for a moment and held out the Kokiri Emerald.
“Clink!” Zelda exclaimed, “I guess you’re one step ahead of me! That saves a lot of boring explaining time. So, basically, you need two more of those stones. Get them to me and we’ll defeat Ganondorf!”
Zelda pointed to the courtyard exit, “Meet my nurse, Impa!”
Impa appears in a flash. The chicken waddles over to her. Impa raised a brow, “Princess...what’s this?”
Zelda replied, “It’s the hero I was telling you about!”
Impa thought for a moment, “Are you feeling alright?”
The chicken looked up at Impa and clucked a dramatic speech on how he was going to save Hyrule. It was the will of the goddesses and the will of fate...at least something like that.
Impa and Clink were outside of Hyrule, facing the mountain looming ahead. Impa spoke, “The first destination you should head to is Death Mountain. Just ignore the fact that theres ‘Death’ in its name and you should be fine. So, go on! We must protect this beautiful land of ours!”
The chicken was standing there staring at her. Impa looked at it, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go!”
The chicken stares. Impa blinked and looked around, “Uhm...go! Fetch?”
She waves it off, “Shoo!”
The chicken doesn’t budge. Impa sighed heavily. Hours later, Impa and Clink reach Kakariko Village. Impa carried the chicken for nearly a mile. She sets Clink down in front of the guard standing in front of the gate leading to Death Mountain. The guard gave Impa a puzzled look, “Miss Impa?”
Impa looked at the man, “Let this chicken through.”
The guard blinked, “...why?”
Impa looked at the man sternly, “Don’t question my orders, Soldier! This chicken is going to save Hyrule!”
The guard walked to Impa and put a hand on her shoulder, “...Are you feeling okay? Did you eat any strange mushrooms?”
Meanwhile, in Hyrule Field, Link, the real hero, is wandering around with his fairy sidekick, Navi.
Navi exclaims loudly, “How the hell did you lose the Kokiri Emerald?!?!”