A Link Between Worlds A Parody
Chapter 1: A Very Loud Gulley
Lets get somehing straight here. If you are a pacifist or you hate foul language, I recommend you do NOT read this. This was written for entertainment purposes and I do not wish to gain any profit off of this. I do not own The Legend of Zelda or any of it's characters. Enjoy!
Gulley, a little boy disguised as the Blacksmith's son but was actually a terrorist in the making, stormed into Link's house,muttered strange threats about beer and Wreck-It Ralph, picked up Link, and threw him at a cupboard. "WHAT THE FUCK LINK?! I HAVE CHORES IN THE MORNING AND YOU SLEEP IN! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED OR I'LL BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!" Gulley screamed so loud so loud it sent a shockwave throughout not only Hyrule but time and space itself. Zelda was quiet. Impa was quiet. Hilda was quiet. Koume and Kotake were quiet. Bowser was quiet. Elsa was sleeping. "Damn, Gulley, what the Hell was that about?" Gulley let out a steam of smoke before talking. "The captain forgot a sword, and if you don't take it to him, Pap said he'll tear out your stomach. For no strange reason, Link was mourning over his now smashed cupboard. "How coul you be so heartless? It was my late wife's last gift to me!" Link sobbed over a broken plate. "You know mariage to cats ain't been made legal till next week!" "But Allyssa was a goldfish! Calling her a cat is a federal ofense!"
" Link, if you on't leave right now, I will let you know more suffering than you've ever known. And besides, since when is calling a goldfish a cat a federal offense?" He was met with no reply, as Link was on his way to Dunkin Donuts before it closed. "I swear I hate that little bitch," Gulley muttered under his breath, putting a sign on the door that read "VACANT." Gulley smiled.
And, that's chapter 1 folks. I forgot to mention I don't own anything other than Zelda.