NOTE: I was seriously considering doing
an Elseworlds series with He-Man/She-Ra, but it got too screwy-but I figured,
let's try cartoon Link and Zelda! Hey, why not, they had a Legion of
Super-Heroes Elseworlds with a few people in a Wizard of Oz setting!
Link and his girlfriend, Princess Zelda, were furiously
fighting off Ganon one day. "I think it's time to get outta here!"
said Link as he grabbed Zelda's hand and placed his magic whistle to his
"Don't let them get away!" howled Ganon, an evil
wizard, as he shot a magic bolt at them. The bolt barely missed Link,
grazing his whistle.
"Hey, watch it!" said Link as he held Zelda's hand
tightly and blew upon the whistle. The familiar tune echoed through
the room, and a whirlwind whisked Link and Zelda away.
Moments later, they found themselves in the forest.
"Link...this does not look right," said Zelda, swallowing hard after that
"Aw, you're still dizzy," said Link as he held her
against him while she steadied herself. He led her over to a hollow
log and they sat down together.
After several moments Zelda was fine, and she began
looking around. She and Link sat still as they heard the sound of
someone chopping wood. "See, we're not in the middle of nowhere,"
said Link. "Let's find out who's here and how we get home.
"Best plan I've heard all day," said Zelda as she
and Link stood up. Hand in hand, they walked towards the sound, saw
a small house near which a dark-haired man with rounded ears was cutting
down trees. He looked up.
"Hansel! Gretel! Your stepmother has
been looking for you!" he said. "You'd better get into the house
before she gets angry with you two! It's dinner time for you two."
Link and Zelda shrugged at each other and went into
the house. A woman was there waiting. "Where have you two been!
You're late for dinner!" she snapped.
"We were...out exploring..." said Link with a lopsided
"Well explore some other time. After dinner
you and your sister go right to bed!"
The pair tried to hide their horror when all they
were given was a small piece of bread and some water. "I don't think
we're in Hyrule," muttered Link. "Anyone would know that you're not
After dinner Link and Zelda went into what was supposedly
their room. There was only one bed. "You're sleeping on the
floor," said Zelda.
"No way! That floor is hard!" whined Link.
"And I hardly think there's an extra pillow and blanket around here!"
Zelda sighed. "All right, Link. Just
this once. But don't-try anything," she warned.
"Hey, I at least ask you for a kiss rather than
steal one. You don't have to worry," he said as they got into bed
together. "I mean, I'm a decent guy!"
"Well see to it that you stay decent," said Zelda.
"And how do we get home? How did we get here?"
"Ganon's magic bolt hit my whistle," said Link.
"I say we just try to sleep and figure out something in the morning.
I'm tired. And who knows where my whistle will send us?"
"I'm tired too," said Zelda.
The bed had barely enough room for two young adults,
so Link pulled Zelda close and wrapped his arm around her waist as they
lay on their sides. Zelda didn't push him away; she was glad that
she wasn't in this madness alone. For a long time they lay there, Link
trying to figure something out, when some bickering started in the next
room. "We need to do something! Or we'll all surely starve!"
the stepmother was saying. Link and Zelda listened intently.
"I will not leave my children alone in those woods!"
the man they'd seen earlier was saying.
"Nice woman," Link whispered in Zelda's ear.
"Then you'd better prepare four coffins; we'll need
them," the woman snapped.
"All right, all right," the man sighed.
"Well, at least we get out of here, let's play along
for now," whispered Zelda.
"Yeah," Link agreed as he drifted off to sleep.
The following morning, the stepmother rudely shook
Link and Zelda awake and handed them each a small piece of bread.
"That's all you have for today. Make it last," she snapped.
"And we're going into the forest with your father while he cuts wood."
"What kind of man would desert his children like
this?" asked Zelda.
"A desperate one," Link whispered back. "You
think this is bad...when I was roaming the world, I saw one country where
they actually ate their children!"
"I did not need to hear that," Zelda replied.
"Needless to say I got out of there in a hurry,
or I'd probably have been next on the menu!"
The two followed the stepmother into the woods.
"Wait here while I help your father. I'll be back for you later,"
she said as she walked away.
"Yeah right. Don't hurry back," Link muttered.
He turned to Zelda. "So now what?"
"We could try your whistle," said Zelda.
"All right, here goes," said Link as he put the
whistle to his mouth and grabbed Zelda's hand. He blew-and nothing
happened. "Aw shoot!"
"So much for that plan," remarked Zelda. "Let's
just wander through here and see if we can find anyone who can help us."
"Well, stay right by me, Princess, we don't know
what's lurking around here," said Link as he continued to hold Zelda's
The pair traveled all day, and towards evening they
came upon an odd little house that appeared to be made of gingerbread and
candy. Link's eyes widened at this. "Hey, check this out!"
he said to Zelda. "I wonder if that's real gingerbread!"
"You mean, try to eat someone's house?" asked Zelda.
Link paid her no attention as he broke off a piece
of the roof. "Well I'll be-! C'mon, Zelda, you haven't had
anything all day either, don't be so stubborn...."
"I really can't say I blame you," said Zelda as
she reluctantly took a proffered piece of the roof. "But don't make
a pig of yourself!"
"Like there's someone around watching!" Link retorted
as he broke off a piece of candy. "Heh heh-sugar rush!"
Suddenly a voice from inside called, "Nibble, nibble,
like a mouse, who is nibbling at my house?"
"Um-Molblins!" called Link.
"Told you so," muttered Zelda.
The door opened and an old red-eyed woman stood
there. "You two must be tired and hungry," she said kindly.
"Come in, have some dinner, and a couple of warm beds."
"Best offer we've had all day," said Link.
"Thank you," said Zelda as she and Link went inside.
"Sorry about your house."
"Oh, it's quite all right, children get lost around
here, even older children such as yourselves, and my house keeps them from
starving," said the old woman. "What are your names?"
"I'm Link and this is my, um, sister, Zelda."
"Well, children, dinner is about ready, why don't
you go wash up?" the old woman suggested.
"Sister?" asked Zelda, her eyebrow raised.
"So she'll think that's why we bicker all the time,"
Link smirked as they went outside and washed up in a basin. "Just
seemed the right thing to say."
When they went back inside, a nice dinner was waiting
for them. Link tried his hardest not to make a pig of himself, following
the example of Zelda, who ate slowly despite the fact she must be starving.
"Eat up, children," said the kind old woman.
"There's plenty where that came from."
After dinner the old woman showed them a room with
two beds. Link and Zelda went in, and she shut the door. Zelda
found a nightgown that she knew would fit her, and Link saw a nightshirt
on one of the beds. With their backs to each other, they changed
into the sleepwear.
Link put his sword under his pillow as was his habit,
and he fell into bed. "Oh, this is a lot better than last night!"
he said as Zelda got into her bed.
"I know...I had kinks all day," agreed Zelda.
"Good night, Link."
The next morning, Zelda was shaken awake by the old
woman. "Get up and gather wood for the fire," the woman snarled.
Zelda woke up, saw that Link was gone. "Where's
Link?" she asked.
"I have your brother locked up-and your weapons
where you can't reach them. I intend to fatten your brother up and
have him as a nice meal tonight," she cackled.
Zelda gasped. "But-"
The old woman laughed. "I am a witch, my child,
and I eat lost children such as you and your brother! I thought it
would be hard fooling you two, I guess not! Now get up and do as
I say, or I'll kill your brother this instant!"
Zelda hurriedly threw on her clothes and went into
the next room, where Link was in a metal cage. "Zelda!"
"Let him go, please! We're not even from around
here!" Zelda sobbed.
"Better yet, no one will miss you and become suspicious,"
the witch replied. "Now go gather that wood!"
Zelda glanced up at a high shelf, saw her and Link's
weapons there-but she didn't see his sword. There was no way she
could get to it without the witch noticing. And Zelda didn't dare
to do anything; she was virtually powerless here, and without the Triforce
of Wisdom, and the witch seemed to be no one to mess with.
Link watched as Zelda was forced to gather wood
for a fire. He carefully tested the bars of his cage. Nope,
no go there. He sat back and silently cursed Ganon for the situation
he and Zelda were in. That witch would go after Zelda next, he knew.
Looking up on the shelf, he noticed that his sword
wasn't there. Either the witch had hid it...or it was where he had
Soon Zelda came back in. "Um, I want to talk
to my sister for a moment," Link called out.
The witch grinned. "Sure, why not? Say
good-bye to each other!"
Zelda knelt in front of the cage, which only had
room for Link to sit. "Zelda, I think my sword is still under my
pillow," he whispered as the witch, on the other side of the room, began
cutting up vegetables.
Zelda's green eyes widened. "I'll find a way
to get it," she whispered back.
"Yeah, well, hurry, I don't think I have much time!"
"Now what was that all about?" the witch asked.
"Link forgot something that belonged to our grandfather
in the bedroom, a lucky charm," said Zelda, improvising. "He wants
it with him."
The witch looked annoyed. "Very well, go get
it for him. And make it quick--you have work to do! Such as
helping me kill him!"
Zelda rushed into the bedroom, and looked under
Link's pillow--and there was his sword! Apparently the witch had
Zelda came back out. The witch had her back
to her and had heard her come out. "All right, Zelda, I need you
to look in the oven and see if the fire's hot enough-"
"Oh please. I am not about to fall for that!"
scoffed Zelda as she aimed the sword at the witch, who turned and gasped.
"And you are going to let us out of here. This sword of his is magic!"
The witch lunged at Zelda, who concentrated briefly,
sending a magic bolt flying at the witch. She fell back, stunned.
Zelda quickly turned and used the sword to knock the padlock off the door.
Link sprang out and took his sword while Zelda made a grab for their weapons
pouches. "Stop!" the witch shrieked.
Having gathered up their things, Link and Zelda
made a hasty exit. "We need to get out of here!" said Zelda.
"Try the whistle again! Try playing the tune backwards or something!"
The two ran for several moments, getting far enough
away from that odd witch's house. Catching his breath, Link tried
Zelda's suggestion. "Drat! It still won't work!" he growled,
slinging it up against a tree. They watched as the whistle broke-
-And suddenly a whirlwind picked them up.
Zelda clung to Link during their ride, and when the spinning stopped, they
found themselves on the road to North Castle.
Zelda breathed a sigh of relief. "I wonder
if it was the whistle that somehow held us there," she said.
"Who cares? We're home and away from that crazy witch,"
said Link as he put his arm around Zelda's shoulders and led her back to the