Stories by Alexandra Spears
E-mail Author
Return to Fanfic Index

 New Fan Works  Old Fan Works  Zelda Series  Multimedia  Features  Interactive  Site Info

"Elseworlds-Hansel and Gretel"

NOTE: I was seriously considering doing an Elseworlds series with He-Man/She-Ra, but it got too screwy-but I figured, let's try cartoon Link and Zelda!  Hey, why not, they had a Legion of Super-Heroes Elseworlds with a few people in a Wizard of Oz setting!  :)

Elseworlds-Hansel and Gretel

By : Alexandra Spears

Link and his girlfriend, Princess Zelda, were furiously fighting off Ganon one day. "I think it's time to get outta here!" said Link as he grabbed Zelda's hand and placed his magic whistle to his lips.

"Don't let them get away!" howled Ganon, an evil wizard, as he shot a magic bolt at them. The bolt barely missed Link, grazing his whistle.

"Hey, watch it!" said Link as he held Zelda's hand tightly and blew upon the whistle. The familiar tune echoed through the room, and a whirlwind whisked Link and Zelda away.

Moments later, they found themselves in the forest. "Link...this does not look right," said Zelda, swallowing hard after that dizzying trip.

"Aw, you're still dizzy," said Link as he held her against him while she steadied herself. He led her over to a hollow log and they sat down together.

After several moments Zelda was fine, and she began looking around. She and Link sat still as they heard the sound of someone chopping wood. "See, we're not in the middle of nowhere," said Link. "Let's find out who's here and how we get home. I'm hungry."

"Best plan I've heard all day," said Zelda as she and Link stood up. Hand in hand, they walked towards the sound, saw a small house near which a dark-haired man with rounded ears was cutting down trees. He looked up.

"Hansel! Gretel! Your stepmother has been looking for you!" he said. "You'd better get into the house before she gets angry with you two! It's dinner time for you two."

Link and Zelda shrugged at each other and went into the house. A woman was there waiting. "Where have you two been! You're late for dinner!" she snapped.

"We were...out exploring..." said Link with a lopsided grin.

"Well explore some other time. After dinner you and your sister go right to bed!"

The pair tried to hide their horror when all they were given was a small piece of bread and some water. "I don't think we're in Hyrule," muttered Link. "Anyone would know that you're not my sister!"

After dinner Link and Zelda went into what was supposedly their room. There was only one bed. "You're sleeping on the floor," said Zelda.

"No way! That floor is hard!" whined Link. "And I hardly think there's an extra pillow and blanket around here!"

Zelda sighed. "All right, Link. Just this once. But don't-try anything," she warned.

"Hey, I at least ask you for a kiss rather than steal one. You don't have to worry," he said as they got into bed together. "I mean, I'm a decent guy!"

"Well see to it that you stay decent," said Zelda. "And how do we get home? How did we get here?"

"Ganon's magic bolt hit my whistle," said Link. "I say we just try to sleep and figure out something in the morning. I'm tired. And who knows where my whistle will send us?"

"I'm tired too," said Zelda.

The bed had barely enough room for two young adults, so Link pulled Zelda close and wrapped his arm around her waist as they lay on their sides. Zelda didn't push him away; she was glad that she wasn't in this madness alone. For a long time they lay there, Link trying to figure something out, when some bickering started in the next room. "We need to do something! Or we'll all surely starve!" the stepmother was saying. Link and Zelda listened intently.

"I will not leave my children alone in those woods!" the man they'd seen earlier was saying.

"Nice woman," Link whispered in Zelda's ear.

"Then you'd better prepare four coffins; we'll need them," the woman snapped.

"All right, all right," the man sighed.

"Well, at least we get out of here, let's play along for now," whispered Zelda.

"Yeah," Link agreed as he drifted off to sleep.

The following morning, the stepmother rudely shook Link and Zelda awake and handed them each a small piece of bread. "That's all you have for today. Make it last," she snapped. "And we're going into the forest with your father while he cuts wood."

"What kind of man would desert his children like this?" asked Zelda.

"A desperate one," Link whispered back. "You think this is bad...when I was roaming the world, I saw one country where they actually ate their children!"

"I did not need to hear that," Zelda replied.

"Needless to say I got out of there in a hurry, or I'd probably have been next on the menu!"

The two followed the stepmother into the woods. "Wait here while I help your father. I'll be back for you later," she said as she walked away.

"Yeah right. Don't hurry back," Link muttered. He turned to Zelda. "So now what?"

"We could try your whistle," said Zelda.

"All right, here goes," said Link as he put the whistle to his mouth and grabbed Zelda's hand. He blew-and nothing happened. "Aw shoot!"

"So much for that plan," remarked Zelda. "Let's just wander through here and see if we can find anyone who can help us."

"Well, stay right by me, Princess, we don't know what's lurking around here," said Link as he continued to hold Zelda's hand.

The pair traveled all day, and towards evening they came upon an odd little house that appeared to be made of gingerbread and candy. Link's eyes widened at this. "Hey, check this out!" he said to Zelda. "I wonder if that's real gingerbread!"

"You mean, try to eat someone's house?" asked Zelda.

Link paid her no attention as he broke off a piece of the roof. "Well I'll be-! C'mon, Zelda, you haven't had anything all day either, don't be so stubborn...."

"I really can't say I blame you," said Zelda as she reluctantly took a proffered piece of the roof. "But don't make a pig of yourself!"

"Like there's someone around watching!" Link retorted as he broke off a piece of candy. "Heh heh-sugar rush!"

Suddenly a voice from inside called, "Nibble, nibble, like a mouse, who is nibbling at my house?"

"Um-Molblins!" called Link.

"Told you so," muttered Zelda.

The door opened and an old red-eyed woman stood there. "You two must be tired and hungry," she said kindly. "Come in, have some dinner, and a couple of warm beds."

"Best offer we've had all day," said Link.

"Thank you," said Zelda as she and Link went inside. "Sorry about your house."

"Oh, it's quite all right, children get lost around here, even older children such as yourselves, and my house keeps them from starving," said the old woman. "What are your names?"

"I'm Link and this is my, um, sister, Zelda."

"Well, children, dinner is about ready, why don't you go wash up?" the old woman suggested.

"Sister?" asked Zelda, her eyebrow raised.

"So she'll think that's why we bicker all the time," Link smirked as they went outside and washed up in a basin. "Just seemed the right thing to say."

When they went back inside, a nice dinner was waiting for them. Link tried his hardest not to make a pig of himself, following the example of Zelda, who ate slowly despite the fact she must be starving.

"Eat up, children," said the kind old woman. "There's plenty where that came from."

After dinner the old woman showed them a room with two beds. Link and Zelda went in, and she shut the door. Zelda found a nightgown that she knew would fit her, and Link saw a nightshirt on one of the beds. With their backs to each other, they changed into the sleepwear.

Link put his sword under his pillow as was his habit, and he fell into bed. "Oh, this is a lot better than last night!" he said as Zelda got into her bed.

"I know...I had kinks all day," agreed Zelda. "Good night, Link."

"Night, Zelda."

The next morning, Zelda was shaken awake by the old woman. "Get up and gather wood for the fire," the woman snarled.

Zelda woke up, saw that Link was gone. "Where's Link?" she asked.

"I have your brother locked up-and your weapons where you can't reach them. I intend to fatten your brother up and have him as a nice meal tonight," she cackled.

Zelda gasped. "But-"

The old woman laughed. "I am a witch, my child, and I eat lost children such as you and your brother! I thought it would be hard fooling you two, I guess not! Now get up and do as I say, or I'll kill your brother this instant!"

Zelda hurriedly threw on her clothes and went into the next room, where Link was in a metal cage. "Zelda!"

"Let him go, please! We're not even from around here!" Zelda sobbed.

"Better yet, no one will miss you and become suspicious," the witch replied. "Now go gather that wood!"

Zelda glanced up at a high shelf, saw her and Link's weapons there-but she didn't see his sword. There was no way she could get to it without the witch noticing. And Zelda didn't dare to do anything; she was virtually powerless here, and without the Triforce of Wisdom, and the witch seemed to be no one to mess with.

Link watched as Zelda was forced to gather wood for a fire. He carefully tested the bars of his cage. Nope, no go there. He sat back and silently cursed Ganon for the situation he and Zelda were in. That witch would go after Zelda next, he knew.

Looking up on the shelf, he noticed that his sword wasn't there. Either the witch had hid it...or it was where he had put it.

Soon Zelda came back in. "Um, I want to talk to my sister for a moment," Link called out.

The witch grinned. "Sure, why not? Say good-bye to each other!"

Zelda knelt in front of the cage, which only had room for Link to sit. "Zelda, I think my sword is still under my pillow," he whispered as the witch, on the other side of the room, began cutting up vegetables.

Zelda's green eyes widened. "I'll find a way to get it," she whispered back.

"Yeah, well, hurry, I don't think I have much time!"

"Now what was that all about?" the witch asked.

"Link forgot something that belonged to our grandfather in the bedroom, a lucky charm," said Zelda, improvising. "He wants it with him."

The witch looked annoyed. "Very well, go get it for him. And make it quick--you have work to do! Such as helping me kill him!"

Zelda rushed into the bedroom, and looked under Link's pillow--and there was his sword! Apparently the witch had missed it.

Zelda came back out. The witch had her back to her and had heard her come out. "All right, Zelda, I need you to look in the oven and see if the fire's hot enough-"

"Oh please. I am not about to fall for that!" scoffed Zelda as she aimed the sword at the witch, who turned and gasped. "And you are going to let us out of here. This sword of his is magic!"

The witch lunged at Zelda, who concentrated briefly, sending a magic bolt flying at the witch. She fell back, stunned. Zelda quickly turned and used the sword to knock the padlock off the door. Link sprang out and took his sword while Zelda made a grab for their weapons pouches. "Stop!" the witch shrieked.

Having gathered up their things, Link and Zelda made a hasty exit. "We need to get out of here!" said Zelda. "Try the whistle again! Try playing the tune backwards or something!"

The two ran for several moments, getting far enough away from that odd witch's house. Catching his breath, Link tried Zelda's suggestion. "Drat! It still won't work!" he growled, slinging it up against a tree. They watched as the whistle broke-

-And suddenly a whirlwind picked them up. Zelda clung to Link during their ride, and when the spinning stopped, they found themselves on the road to North Castle.

Zelda breathed a sigh of relief. "I wonder if it was the whistle that somehow held us there," she said.

"Who cares? We're home and away from that crazy witch," said Link as he put his arm around Zelda's shoulders and led her back to the castle.