Author's note: For those of
you who don't know what StarTropics is, basically it's like Legend of Zelda in
many ways, but also very different. It's especially like Zelda 2 in battle
(because A is always jump) except not sidescrolling, and you only get to fight
in dungeons. If you like Legend of Zelda (and anyway, why would you be here if
you didn't??) and still have an NES you'll probably like StarTropics. Also, If
you know where I can get a ROM of StarTropics\StarTropics 2: Zoda's revenge or
think Nintendo should make a StarTropics 64 like I do, please e-mail me at
email@example.com. Also, please don't expect
this story to have high-class (snob) humor, because 1.) I'm a 12-year-old kid,
and 2.) I AM NOT A SNOB! I HATE THAT KIND OF HUMOR! Anyhow, parts of this story
are going to be as lowbrow as they come.
Enough of this crap, on with the story!!
Chapter One: What the--
It was a pleasant, sunny day at Dr. J's lab, and
Mike was outside, talking to his friend while trying to invent new yo-yo
tricks. Inside, his uncle, the famous (I think...) Dr. J was messing with
stuff to try and find a new scientific breakthrough. Unfortunately, his
experiment blew up his lab, causing it to be totally f*!#ed up and opening
a dimensional portal under Mike's feet. "Oh man, not again!" said Mike,
since this happened before when he had to fight Zodas X, Y, and Z by traveling
through time and space. (Like Link does. Speaking of which...)
It was raining softly in Hyrule on a cold day, but
for some reason (guess why) the rain kept evaporating when it hit the castle.
See what I meant about lowbrow? This is the only example of THAT sort of
lowbrow-ness, or whatever. A couple hours later, Link went out to get a
breath of fresh air, and found himself plummetting through this dimension
hole (the one Mike was in), hearing Zelda say "Link, where are you???"
all girly-like like some Miss Priss USA or somethin'. Suddenly, Mike and
Link landed, and what they saw was quite strange and colorful.
"Geez, this place is too colorful," said Mike. "And
who the heck are you?!"
"I should be asking you that, because it's probably
you who got me into this mess. My name's Link, and who are you?"
"If anyone got us into this mess, it's probably
my uncle Dr. J. The name's Mike. Nice to meet you"
"What are you two doing in Rayland?" asked a strange
voice. They whirled to face the speaker (it's a hero thing, I suppose...)
and Mike said, "We were brought here by some wierd experiment of my uncle's.
Who are you?"
"My name is Rayman, named after Rayland. Why? Everyone
knows me. Wait, you're strangers. I forgot. This is the Fairy Glade."
"This is wierder than the time I was on Koholint
Island," said Link. "Oh, yeah, I'm-"
"I know, you're Link and he's Mike, right? Well,
I might as well show you around," said Rayman
"Oookay. Hey, I don't wanna seem rude but do you
know your hands, feet, and head aren't connected to your body."
"I know. It gives me something to do when I'm bored,
namely playing basketball with it."
"What is basketball?" said Link, but he was totally
ignored because Mike and Rayman were talking.
"Cool! You have basketball here?"
"Sure, isn't it everywhere?"
"I dunno. Ask skirt-boy"
"SKIRT-BOY!" yelled Link as he charged at Mike and
Rayman, furious at the whole thing.
"WHOA! Heads up, Rayman!' said Mike as Link drew
near. Mike, meanwhile shot a Super Psychic Shot (fully powered Shooting
Star in ST-1) at Link.
Rayman, however, was much more powerful than he
looked. As soon as he saw Link draw his sword, he started charging one
of his energy shots, and the Power Fist increased the power considerably.
By the time Mike shot his blast, the shot was fully
charged, and released barely a split second later. Link was no match for
the combined power of the blasts, which knocked him flat on his ass. Dizzy,
Link calmed down as Rayman and Mike helped him up.
"Where do you go to learn to do that?" Link said
"For stage one, ancient Egypt. For stage two, the
Wild West in the days of the legendary Gold Rush. For stage three, go to
a cave near where a dragon used to live. 'Used to' meaning I took care
"I see. And you?"
"It's a gift, I guess, but when I lost my powers
because the Primordial Core blew up, the Fairies gave them back to me with
these Silver Lum things."
"Fairies? You have them here too? I have a fairy
partner named Tatl. I wonder if she's here. Tatl!" Link called.
"Here I am, Link," said Tatl.
"Oh, good, you're here. Rayman, Mike, meet Tatl."
"Hmm.... It appears that what you call a Fairy is
what we call a Lum. Not to be confused with a Silver Lum, the fairies made
those, not Polokus. He's the spirit of the world." Rayman said, when he
saw their puzzled faces.
"Hey, where'd the vortex go?!" said Mike.
"Oh, it's probably been moved to the Hall of Doors.
Don't worry, we can go there. Wait, no we can't. I'm the only one who can
go there, because I'm the only one who the Teensy King knows! If you were
to try and go, nothing would happen! I know! I'll ask the King to come
here! You two wait here, I'll be right back!"
"Well I hope this works, because if I'm stuck here
forever, and can't see Zelda again, then who am I gonna spend my nights--er,
my time with?" said Link at a strange glance from Mike.
"Who are you?" said a voice. They whirled around
(you'd think they'd be dizzy, but no) and saw a strange looking woman (who,
if you know anything about Rayman 2 was of course Ly the Fairy).
"We're friends of Rayman's. I'm Mike and he's Link,"
"Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Ly, and
I'm one of the Fairies of this world."
"So you're a Fairy here. I know two fairies, although
I haven't seen one since I was ten, and both of them would be called Lums
here," said Link, motioning to Tatl to come out of hiding.
"Hmmm.... Tatl, you look more like a Ting than a
Lum. Tings are a smaller type of Fairy, found in many worlds, not just
this one. Hey, where is Rayman anyway?" said Ly, noticing that he wasn't
"Oh, Rayman's talking to the Teensies King so we
can go to the hall of doors and go home."
"Why, don't you like it here?"
"It's nice, I mean, don't get me wrong or anything,
but... well, you know, it's not home. Great vacation spot though."
"Yes, I know. Wasn't always this way, though. Once
it was invaded by pirates from deep space. Rayman was captured, they were
that strong. If it weren't for Globox, Rayman wouldn't have made it through
"Yes, he's a friend of Rayman's too. He saved Rayman's
life, and Rayman made sure he got equal credit for saving us."
"Wow. You kn--"
"Mike! Link! Good news! Hey! Ly! You're here too!
Great! The Teensies say that you two can come here whenever you want! They've
even moved the vortexes to more convenient places so you can conveniently
come over! Cool, huh?" yelled Rayman from half a mile away as he ran towards
"Teensies? I thought you were only going to talk
to the king!"
"They've long ago forgotten who the king is, so
they just take turns being him. It's more organized than their old system
"Well, Link, I'm gonna be here next summer, how
"Sure, Zelda and I will be here."
"Who's Zelda? Is she your girlfriend?"
"No, she's my pet monkey."
"Heh heh. I've got a girlfriend too. We'll be there,
and Dr. J. too."
"Cool. Hey, Rayman, where is this hall of doors?"
"Right this way."
So then, at the Hall of Doors:
"Wow! The vortex has split in two! See ya next summer,
Link! Later, Rayman!" said Mike as he jumped into the vortex back to where
he lived (New York, I think).
"See ya, Rayman!" said Link as he did the same.
"Later guys!" said Rayman just as they disappeared.
Well? How was it? Kinda lame at
the end? Well, sorry 'bout that. Also, I know I promised parts of this fanfic
would be as lowbrow as they came. You remember that, right? Well, sorry, but I
couldn't think of many lowbrow jokes. The next one's gonna be better, i promise.