New Fan Works
Old Fan Works
By: Chibi Sakura
(crazy music plays and a man enters the room )
Man: Hey howdy hey! Welcome to Stupid Stuff. I'm your host, Stu Pidguy. Today, our guests are the characters from the popular game, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time!
(crowd cheers as the guests enter the room)
Stu Pidguy: Hi, gang. What are you guys doing today?
Link: We're talking to you. (drum and cymbal sound)
Zelda: I'm not a boy.
Stu: Well, now that that's finished, I'm gonna ask some questions. Ahem, what do you like better-
Malon: I have a bright yellow bra.
Stu: Um...that's nice, Malon.
Ganondorf: I have tie-dye boxers. Wanna see?
Stu: Listen, people, I wanna ask my question right now!
Nabooru: Ask away.
Stu: Ahem. What do you like better, public bathrooms or barf bags?
Link: Do trees count?
Stu: Moron! Trees don't count!
Link: But I only go to the bathroom behind trees.
Stu: For the last time, Link, trees can't count!
Impa: He meant, do trees count as a public bathroom?
Stu: (slaps his forehead) Oh I guess so! After all, trees are always free for everyone to enjoy.
Link: Even if someone uses them to go to the bathroom?
Stu: Yes! Now shut your mouth!
Zelda: (smacks Stu's butt) Never talk to Link like that! (smacks his butt again) Never ever!
Saria: I have to go potty!
Rauru: Can't you wait?
Saria: (pee starts leaking out of her shorts) I have to go right now!
Rauru: (sighs and takes Saria's hand) I'll take you to the bathroom.
Saria: Hurry! My Pull Up is getting wet!
Stu: That kid is such an idiot!
Link: (bites Stu's hair and twists his arm and gives him a black eye) Don't say that about Saria!
Stu: Okay! I'm sorry for saying that! Now sit down!
(everyone sits down)
Ruto: Can I say something? I haven't said anything yet.
Link: What do you want to say?
Ruto: I want to say this. Ahem, this!
Link: That's all?
Ruto: Well, didn't I say that I wanted to say: this?
Stu: Hah hah hah! That's the kind of behavior that's expected on Stupid Stuff! Now for my question. Ahem, why do I always say ahem before each question?
Darunia: Because it's your favorite word.
Stu: Is that what all of you said?
(everyone nods their heads)
Hah hah hah! That's wrong-o-mundo!
Nabooru: Sniff sniff. You're mean.
Stu: I'm a television host. I'm supposed to be mean.
Malon: I have a pet cow. Her name is Bessie.
Stu: What's that got to do with this question?
Malon: I think Bessie is a stupid name. And this is a show for being stupid, isn't it?
Stu: Yes...but I'm the one who does the stupid stuff, then you have time to be stupid.
Impa: Can you believe it? It costs $17.00 for a bottle of Flinstone vitamins! That's completly wrong!
Stu: Well, because of your stupidity, we only have time for one question. So, here it is. Ahem, do you like ichi-ban noodles?
Darunia: What kind of a question is that?
Link: A stupid one.
Malon: What's a ichi-ban?
Ganondorf: (picks his nose) Is this what you're talkin' about? (sticks the booger in Stu's face)
Stu: (pushes the booger away) Arg! Go away! This show if finished! I quit! (slams his coffee mug down as he exits the room.)
Link: (sighs) Well, not everyone likes ichi-ban noodles.
Everyone: (picks their noses) Nope!