Stories by Bongo Bill
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"TatTeh Best PWP Evar!!!!!!2"

TatTeh Best PWP Evar!!!!!!2

By: Bongo Bill

In which is chronicled the most fantastical Tale of Murray the Sign Painter, and other events worth mention


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way -- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Wait a minute, that’s not the right opening.


Ah, it’ll do.

It was such a time that Impa found herself in now. Well, sort of.

She had just won the gold medal in the Rock-Paper-Scissors Olympics, but now she was stranded in Elbonia with a jealous Gerudo until July. And to make it worse, they had no money, which was not enough to live off of for months, even in Elbonia.

She stormed out of Mud International Airport, or whatever it was called, she was too angry to care, even though she was arguably the best rock-paper-scissors player in the world, where was I?

Well anyway, she stormed out, with Nabooru (that’s the jealous Gerudo, in case you’re ignorant) following her. And off they stormed. Wow. Look at them go. I haven’t seen storming like that in weeks. Months, even.

They stormed all the way to the rooms the Olympians had been given at the Mud Hotel, in Mud City, which was the capitol of Elbonia. Unfortunately, they had to stop storming to wait for the elevator to get there. But as soon as it came, they stormed in. They tried to storm in place in the elevator, but it scared the other elevator-goers, so they had to settle for scowling instead. But once those elevator doors opened, they stormed right down the hall to their rooms.

They both stormed to Impa’s room so that they could rant about the Horrid Injustice that had been done to them together; it’s no fun to rant when there’s nobody to rant at.

Once inside, they sat down in the muddy chairs made of mud, congratulated each other on a well-stormed storming, and got down to ranting.

“This is outrageous!” ranted Impa. “Telling us to come here so we could win the Olympics, and then stranding us here in the middle of Mudland” (although technically Mudland Amusement Park was three miles south of where they were) “until July with no money and a hotel room that we have to leave tomorrow!”

“Yeah,” ranted Nabooru. “It’s almost as if there were some kind of conspiracy to keep us in Elbonia until July!”

“But why?”

“Well, out vacation ends in June, so maybe whoever is conspiring against us wants us to never go home again!”

“Who could be so heartless?”

“You mean besides lots of people?”

“Well yeah.”

Nabooru thought about this. “I suppose there’s only one way to find out.”

“You don’t mean—“

“Of course not! We’re going to have a Detective Story!”

“Oh, no we’re not!”


There was a long silence, but Nabooru broke it. Such a shame, too, I was beginning to like it. Stupid clumsy Nabooru breaking all my stuff.

“What do we do then?” she said.

Impa replied after a while by saying, “…I have no idea.”

“Well, we can stay here until noon tomorrow, and the Olympic Committee Thing that paid for us to come here will pay up to 200 rupees of stuff we charge to our room. There has to be something we can do with that.”

Impa was flabbergasted. Heh. Flabbergasted. That’s a funny word. Flabbergasted. Where was I? Impa was flabbergasted. “We have that much? 200 rupees will last us a year in Elbonia! Two years! Maybe even three!”

“Three years, five months, eleven days, one hour exactly. I counted.”

“Well I guess we have to get to the gift shop tomorrow. And order as much room service as we can carry.”

They retired to their respective rooms and got kicked out because their rooms weren’t respective, they were the normal rooms, and what the hell were they thinking, barging into people’s rooms like that? Especially since their rooms were on a different floor. Some people. Can’t even expect them to stay out of other people’s hotel rooms. What’s the world coming to?

Anyway, the Magical City of Answers, where the rest of our heroes were, was crowded due to the fact that the city in question was the only place that a person could see the Fantasy/Sci-Fi Movie To End All Fantasy/Sci-Fi Movies. A movie so big, that for a lowly author to utter its name in a non-published work would surely cause the poor author to be shoved off the Impossible Cliffs because the poor author did not do the title enough respect and, in failing to do so, made millions of rabid fans very, very angry indeed.

Link and his adoptive brother Darunia were stuck in the middle of it all, the only movie-goers who were not trying to see the movie I spoke of earlier. “This sucks,” said Link.

“You just said that five minutes ago,” Darunia reminded him.

“I believe you mean I just said it five seconds ago.”

“No, you said it just at the end of the last part of the story, which was just before the part with Impa and Nabooru stuck in Elbonia, which lasted about five minutes.”

“Yeah, well… what do you know?”

Darunia began to sniffle a little. Uh-oh. Link had obviously re-opened a poorly healed emotional wound that had been plaguing his brother since childhood.

Darunia’s behavior confirmed this as he said, “You’ve obviously re-opened a poorly healed emotional wound that has been plaguing be since childhood!” and then broke into great Goron-sized sobbing and crying. “They…they always called me st…st…st…stupid! Why wouldn’t they just leave me alone? Why?” Darunia tried to say more, but he couldn’t.

It was all Link could do to give him a few reassuring pats on the back and say, “There, there, Darunia. It’s all over now. Nobody’s going to call you stupid any more.”

Darunia calmed down and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Y-you promise?” he managed to say.”

“I promise,” promised Link.

Unfortunately for Link’s promise, a random passer-by accidentally walked into Darunia and shouted, “Watch where I’m going, stupid!” before disappearing into the crowd.

Darunia broke down into great moronic sobs once more.

Let us leave them there and look upon a happier scene.

In the hotel room of Our Heroes, Zelda was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Saria was giggling uncontrollably like a maniac. Malon was very angry since she was hanging upside-down in the closet like a bat as a direct result of the practical joke which had also caused Saria to giggle uncontrollably like a maniac. And Ruto was hard at work draining the bathroom. She had not lasted five seconds.

The reason Ruto was working so hard was because she had to get into the bathroom without letting any of the water escape, fill up a bucket and maybe her lungs, and then go and dump them out the window, again without spilling a drop, and then do it all over again until the bathroom was no longer flooded, and all the while all the drains in the bathroom were open. The bathroom, by the way, was very large. So Ruto could effectively do nothing until the bathroom was dry again.

Malon let out a shriek of surprise at finding herself bound hand and foot and hanging upside-down in a closet when she had not even been aware of anything happening.

Zelda would not ordinarily have been so rude, but she was reading something interesting. “Hold on,” she said, slightly annoyed, “I’ll be right there.”

When Zelda was done reading her magazine article, she walked over to the closet and untied Malon. And then they both sternly instructed Saria, “Front and center!” after the fashion of all the greatest military disciplinarians.

Saria immediately stopped giggling and timidly came forth. “Y-yes?” she said in a voice to match the way she had come forth; that is, timidly.

“Why,” asked Malon in a very stern tone of voice, “did you make that trap that hung me upside-down in the closet?”

“I-I made it for Ruto,” replied the small girl nervously. She explained, “She made me wet my pants when she flooded the bathroom.”

“Saria,” said Zelda sternly, “You know revenge is bad. However, since it was intended for Ruto, I guess it wasn’t all bad. But next time, make sure that it’s not for revenge.”

Malon added, “And also make sure no one else gets caught in it.”

“Okay,” said Saria.

And the moral of this story is, it’s okay to pick on Ruto because everybody hates her anyway.

Later that day, Ruto finally finished draining the bathroom, and ran off to do something stupid. But that’s not important.

What is important is that Link and Darunia finally got to the front of the line. They had to work very hard to convince the half-mad ticket salesman that they were there for a different movie than the one everyone else was. But finally they discovered that they had been reading an old newspaper and the only movie they were showing that wasn’t the one the nerds were there to see was very, very stupid.

So they left dejectedly back to the hotel room. Once there, they all went to sleep.

During which time Impa and Nabooru went to the Mud Hotel’s gift shop and used the 200 rupees they had each been allowed to charge to their rooms to purchase anything useful they would need to live for an extended period of time in a third-world country.

Now, you see, Elbonia’s economy was pretty bad to begin with. And it was experiencing a recession, if not a full-fledged depression, at that time. Throw into this mix the fact that the Rupee was so strong against the Elbonian Rock at the moment that the exchange rate was negative, and one could very easily understand what was about to happen.

Impa and Nabooru had 378¾  rupees between them after they had bought months worth of non-perishable foodstuffs, two apartments, a pilot’s license for each of them, a dog, a private jet, a lot of very expensive luxuries that (under most circumstances) only people with a lot of money can afford, twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four turtle doves, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Naturally the fact that they had been able to purchase all this and be left over with more money than they had started with surprised them very much, especially since they were shopping in the gift shop of a very expensive five-star hotel. Not that they particularly cared.

So they went to their apartments, and managed to bend the laws of space-time enough to fit their purchases into them through some means I don’t think I need to explain. It should be obvious. They planned to fly home in their shiny new airplane the next day.

That night, (in the Magical City of Answers) Link was sleeping, when suddenly he woke up. There is a very good reason for this, and I’m about to explain it. Don’t be so impatient.

He had woken up because a very startling thought had occurred to him.

“Where did Ganondorf go?” he asked.

Within a few minutes everyone in the hotel room was very worried about it.

“Even if he is incompetent,” Zelda noted, “he’s still evil and we can’t afford to let him loose on the world again.”

Malon agreed. “I agree. We should go and make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.”

“We should go and let me beat him up again,” suggested Link.

Ruto, who had finished cleaning the bathroom, said, “Why?”

“Because he’s a menace,” explained Zelda, “and that’s what you do to menaces. Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Ruto couldn’t exactly help it, but that’s none of your business.

And so they all got properly dressed for a Quest to Go and Teach Ganondorf a Thing or Two, and Maybe Beat Him Up a Little, and they piled into Darunia’s truck and set off for the Boss’ office, because if anyone knew where Ganondorf was, the Boss would know some guy who knew where that person was. Or something like that.

They pulled out in front of the Boss’ big huge building, and entered the elevator, and rode it to the Boss’ Receptionist’s Office.

The evil receptionist’s chair swiveled around, but there was nothing in it but a sign. The sign consisted of “Help Wanted” written in blood on a charred elephant femur. There is a very good story about that sign so I’ll tell it to you.

A good while back, maybe five days or so, there was a sudden tiny migration of Generic Creatures From Hell moving from their homeland of Wyoming to the island of Sri Lanka. One of these Generic Creatures From Hell was Murray the sign painter.

Murray’s renown as a sign painter spread so quickly through Sri Lanka that he began to get orders for signs from all over the world, even in the Middle of Nowhere where nobody lives, not even vultures. So it naturally followed that the Boss himself would soon order a “Help Wanted” sign from Murray.

The thing about Murray’s signs that makes them so great was that they were all written in blood on the charred bones of animals, humans, or plants.

And so, the Boss found himself with the most evil “Help Wanted” sign in the universe.

But getting back to the office.

“What can I do for you?” said the Boss as he strode in imperiously, except that he was dressed like some kind of businessman instead of an emperor.

“We’re looking for Ganondorf,” said Link. “He ran away.”

The Boss considered this for a moment and said, “Bill can help you find him.” He turned to Bill’s office, which doesn’t exist. “Bill!” he said sharply.

Bill scampered in, wearing a loincloth. His skin was all green and nasty. “What can we do for Master?” the author rasped.

“Bill, do you remember these people?”

Bill regarded Link and company for a moment. “Yess, yes, we remembers them, Master!”

“They need to find Ganondorf.”

Bill’s eyes took on a green glint. “Yes, yes, Ganondorf, yes, we knows where he is, precious. Go to the doctor, style='font-style:italic'>gollum.” And with that, Bill scampered back off into the shadows from whence he came.

The Boss shook his head somewhat amusedly. “Bill just finished reading The Lord of the Rings and he’s kind of obsessive. But he said to go to the doctor, and so you will go see the doctor.

Link hurried to the elevator, dragging the others behind, and he went so fast that Zelda barely had enough time to thank the Boss.

One agonizingly slow elevator ride later…

One even more agonizingly slow trip across town later…

One unbearably excruciatingly long sit in the doctor’s office later…

“The doctor will see you now,” said the receptionist with an annoying voice, to which Link immediately replied by loudly snapping some kind of inane unintelligible drivel in a language he mistakenly assumed that he understood. He had been waiting so long that he had been driven at least partially insane, you see.

The language was an obscure dialect of Old English, and as it so happens, one of the spiders on the ceiling was fluent in Old English, and understood that what Link said was as follows: “Dormitory peels the monger’s socks with such a pair of tweezers that the world has ever bemused, for I am the King of all that I seagulls; beware the wrath of the Tome of the Tome of the Tome of the Tome of Ears but do they not hear the dog whistle? My mother did instruct you to languish here by the gate to the banana plantation, where many good things dwell in eternal contentment, before I were a sailor. And there was weeping and gnashing of teeth!” The spider, needless to say, was so confused by this drivel that she was driven into a fury, amid which she leapt on to Link’s face and bit him.

Link fell down shouting and tried to stab the spider with his sword, but he missed and accidentally tripped Darunia with the chair that he hit, and as Darunia fell down he instinctively tried and failed to catch himself on Malon’s rear end, and Malon shrieked with great volume, and this in turn made Saria so confused that she cried, and as Zelda rushed to comfort her, she tripped on one of Link’s flailing limbs, and she fell down accidentally knocked Saria down, who began to cry harder, and not knowing what else to do, she ran over to Ruto, who was standing there stupidly, and kicked the Zora in the shin; Ruto began to leap around with one leg in her arm, and the leg that Saria had kicked still on the ground, and in the process she stepped on Darunia’s great hide, and her fat ego-swollen head accidentally hit Malon over into the pile, and Saria, not knowing what else to do, stopped crying, exclaimed, “Whee!” and jumped on top of somebody, who in turn was bereft of breath, and then it turned nasty. Wow.

This is where it turned nasty. The whole thing was a seething mass of body parts, fueled by Link’s mad rage to kill the horrid monster that was sucking his beautiful face off. Malon was enraged about the whole turn of events, and Zelda was trying her hardest to get everybody to get up. Saria was having the time of her abnormally long Kokiri life, and Ruto, having realized that Link was at the bottom of this mess, tried to reach him. Darunia was completely unaffected by this, and so he decided that since he was lying down, he might as well take a nap. And so he did.

The doctor who was a vampire and whose name I forget rushed in and tried to break it all up, and soon he was sucked in.

It finally ended when Ruto was flung out with bite marks in her neck. Everybody stopped, and then decided to have a huge party in honor of Ruto’s death.

The party took place in the Boss’ ball room, on the second highest floor of his skyscraper. Everybody was there except for Bill, who was stuck writing about it, and Mido, who was still hanging by his toenails from the Flag of Albania that was on the forty-third story window, and Ganondorf, who nobody knew where he was except for me, and I’m not telling, and a deaf Tibetan hermit in a cave in Miami, who didn’t know about the party, and Murray the Sign Painter, who was in Sri Lanka making the big huge congratulations sign for the funeral, and Rauru, who was stuck at the gym, and Ruto, who was dead, and Impa, Nabooru, and all the other people in Elbonia because I said so, and probably some other people.

Link (who had since removed the spider form his face) was talking with the Boss, Zelda, Malon, Darunia, the spider, and a random guy none of them had ever seen before and none of them ever would. They were all laughing very hard at one of the Boss’ jokes, probably because it came from this story.

“And here’s the man of the hour,” said Link as the doctor came up. Everyone’s head turned to look at the doctor, and the random guy used this opportunity to ride off into the sunset. See? I told you they’d never see him again.

“Well, what can I say?” said the doctor whose name I still can’t remember. “I’m a sucker for type O negative.” All the people in the room with type O negative blood then ran straight home and locked their doors and windows and never never never never never left their houses again.

The rest of the people all laughed at this, or maybe it was at the fact that Darunia was drunk and had taken off all his clothes (although he didn’t wear clothes, which was odd to say the least) and was now break-dancing on the ceiling (which was also odd to say the least).

Link, bereft of the insanity that had caused all of this, said, “Hey, doc. I’m looking for Ganondorf. You know where I can find him?”

“Ganondorf, Ganondorf…” mused the doctor. “Big guy, green skin?”


“Big gray cape?”


“Sloping, criminal forehead?”


“Nose about the size of Bolivia?”

“Just about.”

“Never seen him in my life.”

Link was let down. “You’ve let me down,” he said.

“Wait, wait,” said the doctor. “I know this guy, and he knows where everybody is.”

“Where can we find him?”

“He lives in the Middle of Nowhere.”

“But—” stammered Link. “That’s impossible! Nobody lives in the Middle of Nowhere, not even vultures!”

“Of course he does. He style='font-style: italic'>is Nobody, after all.”

“Wait a minute. You just said there was somebody, and now you say there’s nobody. Make up your mind!”

“Nah, Somebody’s right here,” said the Doctor. “Hey! Somebody!” he called, and lo and behold, a sullen-looking teen sulked over. The doctor introduced him. “This is my nephew, Somebody.”

Link shook his hand and said, “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Somebody before sulking off.

The doctor continued. “You go to the Middle of Nowhere, and find my buddy Nobody. He’ll tell you where to find Ganondorf. Nobody knows everything. Just tell him I sent you.”

Link gathered Darunia, Malon, Zelda, and Saria, and they all got in the truck and drove to the Middle of Nowhere. Their errand was so important that they didn’t even bother to stay for the funeral.

They arrived in the Middle of Nowhere sometime the next day. They were all asleep, but fortunately the truck had driven itself.

Link was the first to wake up, and he roused the others.

Saria was cheerful and annoyingly happy, and not at all annoyed by the time the way normal people are. Something is wrong with that child.

Malon and Zelda both were slow to rousing, the way normal people are, and they didn’t fully wake up until they had woken up Darunia and cured his hangover so he could go tell Link to make the coffee.

The coffee machine was in the back of the truck, and accordingly Link went to the back of the truck, to where the coffee machine was, so he could make coffee.

“Let’s see…” he mumbled incoherently. “How do you turn this sucker on?”

“I think the truck needs to be started,” said Saria.

“Right, right. Go take care of that for me, would you?”

Saria skipped merrily off to perform the sacred rite of starting the truck.

Once it was started, the coffee machine turned on and immediately blasted Link in the face with coffee of the highest concentration of caffeine attainable.

“Allrightthenthecoffeemachine’sturnedonZelda!Malon!Darunia!Coffee’sready!Woo!Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee…” Obviously Link was wired.

Malon and Zelda came in, followed by Darunia. “Whattookyousolongit’snotimportanthaveacupofcoffee,” said Link, handing each of them a cup of the absurdly caffeinated coffee.

They each sipped their coffee, then gulped the rest. “Wowthat’sgreatcoffee!” exclaimed Zelda.

“YesIquiteagree,” said Malon.

Darunia said nothing, but he said it very, very quickly.

For the purposes of you the readers I am now going to activate caffeine-vision so you can read what’s going on.


They all got out of the truck, and found a nearby sign. Link read it out loud. “‘Welcome to the Middle of Nowhere. Population : Nobody, not even vultures. You are under arrest. P.S. This sign is retroactive.’ I knew we had to be breaking some kind of a law by coming here!”

“Then why,” asked Malon, “did you bring use here?”

“Because Nobody’s here, and Nobody’ll tell us where Ganondorf is!”

“I’m not following,” said Zelda.

“Look, there’s this guy called Nobody.”


They could not say any more because a few Stalfos Security Guards burst from the sand (the Middle of Nowhere was a desert, after all) and arrested them all. Stalfos Security Guards are the finest warriors in existence: not even caffeinated could Link outfight them And thusly were Link, Malon, Zelda, Darunia, and Saria thrown into the back of an armored Stalfos Truck that had also popped out of the ground.

The Stalfos Truck Driver took the miserable company on a long drive through the desert to the maximum-security penitentiary at Forty-Five Miles From Nowhere, during which time the caffeine wore off.


Each of our heroes was thrown into a cell. The Stalfos Warden, in his immense stupidity, made the mistake of throwing them all into the same cell. Stupid warden.

“Well great,” said Link. “Now we’re stuck here.”

“Look at the bright side,” said Zelda. “We, oh, wait. There is no bright side. Nevermind.”

Link sat around for a few minutes as though he were depressed, and then he realized something. “Where’s Saria?” he asked.

Malon, who had been watching her said, “She escaped.”

“Well, yeah, that much is obvious, but how?”

“She just opened the door while you were sitting around.”


Nobody said much of anything for a while before Zelda said, “Hey, can’t we get out the same way?”

“I had never thought of that,” said Malon.

“Me neither,” said Link.

“I was kind of thinking we’d just break down a wall or something,” said Darunia.

Link said, “I don’t think that’ll work.”

“We might as well try the door,” said Zelda.

Link, being closest to the door, pushed on its thick steel bars. It swung open silently and easily. “Wow,” he said. “Let’s go.”

To make a long story short, they all ran down the corridor as fast as their puny mortal legs could carry them. They went so fast that they outran the Stalfos Security Guards, whose only weakness is that they sleep on the job.

When they did arrive at the front gate, they did find that the warden style='font-style:italic'>had locked that one. Stupid warden.

The Stalfos Warden (yes, the very same who had locked the front gate) was now walking down the hall and very carefully ignoring all the Stalfos Security Guards who were asleep on the job.

“Come on, hurry!” shouted Link at Darunia, who was trying to hoist everyone over the gate.

“I told you breaking down the wall was a better idea,” countered Darunia, who was struggling to life Zelda over the gate. It was just too tall.

The warden kept on walking down the hall.

Zelda had somehow gotten over the gate, and now Malon was in the process of being hoisted.

Why the hell is the warden taking so long just to walk down a stupid corridor? Stupid warden.

Darunia was now climbing over the gate, having left Link behind intentionally or otherwise.

Finally the warden made it, and found Link standing in front of the gate, sword drawn. About time.

The warden drew his own sword: it was red and wavy, just like all the other Stalfos’ swords.

And so they began to fight.

It was a very intense, action-packed fight.

And it had swords.


Darunia put Malon and Zelda back on top of the fence so they could watch, and wasn’t long before Saria scurried up the side of the gate like a little chipmunk so she could watch too. Not the singing kind of chipmunk, mind you, but the arboreal kind.

A passing popcorn vendor brought a ladder and got on top of the gate, shouting, “Popcorn! Get your popcorn!”

“I’ll take one,” said Zelda.

“Me, too!” said Malon.

“I’ll take two,” said Darunia.

“Ooh! Ooh! I want some popcorn too!” said Saria.

The popcorn vendor handed out the popcorn accordingly and sat down.

Link and the warden were still fighting, although Link was supposed to have won by now. Stupid warden. Can’t he do anything right?

But eventually, just as Saria had fallen peacefully asleep, Link finally realized that he was here to kill the warden, not provide entertainment.

So he cut of the warden’s head.

And then he, too, got outside of the prison.

Now it so happens that Darunia’s truck had followed them to the prison, since it’s a good truck. Link, out of the generosity of his heart, offered the popcorn vendor a ride back to the Middle of Nowhere.

“So,” said Link to the vendor, “what brings you to Nowhere?”

“I came here to tell a random group of travelers the whereabouts of an evil guy that they’re looking for. My name is Nobody.”

“Cool! We’re a random group of travelers looking for a guy named Nobody so we can ask him the whereabouts of an evil guy we’re looking for!”

“I guess I can help you then. Go to a cave in Miami. There you will find someone who can help you.”

“Aren’t you going to tell us where Ganondorf is?”


They dropped Nobody off at the Middle of Nowhere and drove all the way to the Ocean Which Has No Name, which was the closest point on this continent to Miami.

There was a ferry operator there. “Ferry’s broken,” said the operator.

“We need to get to Miami,” explained Link.

“Ferry’s broken,” said the operator. “Guy came here. Broke it. Told me not to fix it.”

“We’ll pay you to fix it,” said Zelda. She was rich, after all. No matter what the guy asked, she could probably afford it.

“It’ll cost you. More money then all of you put together have.”

“That’s a lot of money,” said Link. “Can we afford that, Zelda?”

“I don’t think so…” said Zelda.


They all just sort of stood there stupidly.


A private jet flew in from the northeast!

A private jet piloted by none other than Yogi Bear!

A private jet piloted by none other than Yogi Bear which promptly crashed into the hillside!

Fortunately, Yogi Bear crawled from the crash and found himself a pic-a-nic basket (or something pronounced like that) and ate it.

Wow, that was exciting.

Wait, we’re not done yet.

Another private jet flew in, and this one was piloted by Impa and Nabooru, returned from their voyage to Elbonia and laden with the bounty of said voyage.

This plane didn’t crash, fortunately, but landed with the grace of something that has as much grace as this particular landing. And believe me, it was a graceful landing. The kind of landing you look at and say, “Wow! That was one graceful landing!” You know, that kind. Yeah. I’ll shut up now.

And so the plane landed and Impa and Nabooru got out, and then the author if this story got writer’s block again.

I’m sorry it wasn’t as funny as the last one.



P.S. Of course there’s going to be a sequel! Don’t be silly.