New Fan Works
Old Fan Works
"Who Wants to Marry a Royal Heir"
Who Wants to Marry a Royal Heir?
By: Chibi Sakura
(A huge crowd is sitting at Hyrule's favorite game-show, Who Wants to Marry a Royal Heir?)
Host: Hello. I am Roger Lovebin. This is my game-show, Who Wants to Marry a Royal Heir? Now, today our players are: Ganondorf, The King of Evil. Darunia, the Sage of Fire. And Link, The Hero of Time. Now, you all came to test your smarts, to brave the slew of mind-twisting questions, to finally win the love of your life? (Darunia shivers as Roger says this)
Darunia: Um, mister TV host smarty pants big mouth guy? (crowd gasps) I don't know the answers to any of the questions...
Host: Well, Darunia, there is nothing to be afraid of. I ask a question, you try to answer it correctly, and if you get it right, you'll get closer to winning Hyrule's biggest beauty, Princess Zelda!
Darunia: Okay. That's easy.
Host: Alright then. Our first question is: What is the name of the boss in the Fire Temple? (no one answers)
Ganondorf: I know! Twinrosa! (the Rosa Sisters enter the room)
Rosa Sisters: Did someone call us?
Host: No. I'm sorry. And please stop flirting with Link.
Rosa Sisters: (stops flirting with Link) Awwww, but we wanna dance for Link!
Ganondorf: (punches Link lightly on the arm) Hey, loverboy, looks you don't need to be on this show after all. You already found your love!
Link: Whaaaat? I hate these girls!
Rosa Sisters: Humph. Well, if you're not gonna be nice, we'll just leave! (exits the room)
Host: Now, before we were so rudely interrupted, Ganondorf, your answer to the question was wrong.
Darunia: What's the question again?
Host: The question is: What is the name of the boss in the Fire Temple?
Darunia: The ice-cream man?
Host: What? The ice-cream man?
Darunia: Well, he used to charge me fifty dollars for a popsicle!
Host: So what? That isn't the answer!
Link: I know the answer! Ahem. It's, Volvagia!
Darunia: Where? (looks around wildly)
Host: That's correct! (crowd claps)
Host: Now for the next question. What is the item you need if you want to finish the Shadow Temple?
Darunia: A Pokemon card!
Host: Arrrrg! That's wrong!
Ganondorf: I know the answer! It's, an empty bottle!
Host: Nooooooo waaaaaaaaaaay! Link, how 'bout you give it a try?
Link: Gladly! The answer is, The Lens of Truth!
Host: That's right! (crowd claps)
Host: You hear that, Darunia?
Darunia: (puts down his Omni magazine) Oh, the answer is, American Pie!
Ganondorf: Hey! I saw that movie!
Host: Darunia! How can you answer a question that hasn't been asked yet?
Darunia: I don't know the answer to that....
Host: Aaaaaaaaack! That wasn't a question you were supposed to answer!
Host: Here is the next question: Who is the owner of Lon Lon Ranch?
Host: Bah! Link kicked that old wheez-box off the job!
Ganondorf: Humph! Always messing-up my plans!
Darunia: The answer is: Homer Simpson!
Host: You are in your own little world, aren't you, Darunia?
Darunia: Oh what! What? Whaaaaat? I like to pick my nose!
Host: I'm warning you, Darunia. If you don't straighten up your act a little, you can't play this game anymore!!!
Darunia: But I wanna play the gaaaaaaame!
Host: Fine. Now for the next question! Ahem. What Happy Mask can give you the ability to talk to gossip stones?
Darunia: (scratches his head) What's a Happy Mask?
Ganondorf: My Phantom Ganon mask can!
Host: No, Ganondorf. Darunia, a mask is a thing that you can wear.
Darunia: Okay! Well, I hear strange noises at night, so maybe my bunny slippers can talk to rocks.
Host: Arrrg! Well, it's obvious that Darunia didn't understand me. Link, can you answer the question correctly?
Link: Sure. The mask that gives you the power to talk with gossip stones is, The Mask of Truth!
Host: That's right! (crowd claps) Now for the final question! This question is hard, so the players might not have the right answer. Ahem. Here is the question! Which is the best healing source?
Darunia: Water-proof band-aids!
Ganondorf: Green Potion!
Link: (takes a deep breath) Fairys?
Host: Correct! You get to marry Princess Zelda!!!!
Link: Yaaaaaay!!! (Princess Zelda enters the room and kisses Link ) Ooooh yeeaah. (picks Zelda up in his arms and carries her off to the castle, with Zelda kissing him all the way)
Someone From The Crowd: Yuuuuck! (throws tomatoes at the host)
Host: Arrrrrrg! (he and Ganondorf and Darunia shield themselves from the tomatoes and run out of the room)
Someone From The Crowd: Heh heh. (lifts up her hood) Heh heh. They never gussed that I, Chibi Sakura, would put myself in a story that involved love, did they? Heh heh heh heh heh. Ha ha ha ha ha!