New Fan Works
Old Fan Works
Long live the
I don't know if
any of you have noticed, but our little hero, Link, is left-handed. You
might say, "big deal" and just shrug it off. Well, you know what mister?
It is a big deal! The fact that the hero of all the Zelda games is left
handed makes an important point: left-handers are better than right-handers.
Now, you might be thinking, "this guy's totally gone off his rocker"; well,
I haven't. It may pain some of you to know that your good friend Kasuto
is-that's right!-left handed. I'll tell you from personal experience that
being left-handed is no walk in the park.
Here's the part
where I gripe about everything. One thing I hate is the fact that I always
end up smudging my own writing. Now I use quick-drying pens so that's less
of a problem. But pencils suck, too. I quit using pencils four years ago
because the bottom of my hand would end up being gray after I was done
with my math homework. So pencils suck. And do you righties know what it's
like trying to write on one of your damn desks? You know what I'm talking
about: those desks they have in high schools that have the desk attached
to the chair with that armrest thing on the right side. Oh sure, those
are great for right-handers. They have a nice comfortable place to rest
their right arm while they're writing. But what about us lefties? We don't
have special desks. You wouldn't believe how uncomfortable it is to write
on one of those desks. I'm sure that lefties who use those things end up
getting carpal tunnel syndrome. I think schools should provide special
desks for their left-handed students. We have wheelchair ramps, special
classes for retarded kids, and Braille on ATMs for God's sake! Where's
the accomodation for lefties? I don't see special left-handed desks in
classrooms, or an aisle in Wal-Mart with left-handed merchandise. Sure,
you can buy left-handed stuff, but it costs three or four times as much
as "regular" right-handed stuff. A left-handed keyboard (with the numpad
on the left) costs over a hundred dollars! That's highway robbery if you
ask me. It should be a law for there to be special accomodations for left-handers.
We make special accomodations for evey other thing imaginable, and I think
ten percent of the population is enough to warrant special treatment. After
all, what percentage of the population is wheelchair-bound? Not a lot.
When you walk down the street how many people do you see in wheelchairs?
Not many. In fact, I haven't once seen a person in a wheelchair when I
was in a store or something. Don't get me wrong, I respect all those people
who use wheelchairs. I just think that lefties deserve the same appreciation.
How about those
so-called "ergonomic" mice? Sure, those my be ergonomic for righties, but
what about us? I used to own a right-handed mouse becuase it came with
the computer. I'll tell you, it's uncomfortable to say the least. The computer
lab at my school is full of them and I hate them. I want a left-handed
ergonomic mouse. Of course, when I'm in the school computer lab, I have
to move the mouse over to the other side so I can use it. I'm lucky that
in my house the two main users of the computer, me and my little dork brother,
are both left-handed. So we have our computer set up to accomodate those
of our kind. It's funny seeing my parents try to use the mouse with their
left hand, now they're the ones that have to accomodate us!
The whole point
of this article is to make it known that Link is left-handed. In fact,
of the Links are left handed. In the old NES games and SNES, they didn't
really show that because of the limitations of the graphics. They simply
mirror-imaged all the pictures of Link so they didn't have to program his
left-handedness for each possible orientation. But if you read the instruction
manuals, you'll notice that they specifically mention that Link is left-handed.
I have a few hypotheses for why this is so. The most obvious one would
be if Shigeru Miyamoto is left-handed. I'm not sure if he is, but it wouldn't
surprise me. There is another fact about lefties. Studies have shown that
we tend to be smarter, more artistic, and more creative than the average
righty. A large proportion of "radically thinking" scientists and artists
have been left-handed. These people have changed our whole perspective
on the world. Some neurologists think that lefties use different parts
of their brains to perform language tasks. Whereas in right-handers only
one side of the brain is used, left-handers sometimes use both. This decentralizes
brain functions and makes it easier for lefties to recover from stroke
or other brain damage. So we've got that in our favor. But what about Link?
He is obviously very different from the other people in his world. He is
that hero who only comes by once every generation. It would only make sense
for such a unique person to be left-handed. After all, left-handers think
differently. We aren't satisfied with the way things are, we like to ask
questions. We tend to think in completely different ways. Of course, there
are is a larger proportion of lefties who are insane or mentally ill. Then
again, the line between genius and insanity is very thin. I think genius
and insanity are two sides of the same coin. You have to be a little crazy
in order to be a genius.
I think Link is
a misunderstood genius, and being left-handed makes that clearer. Left
handedness is not simply writing with a different hand, it is a whole different
state of being. It is a way of thinking that is physically manifested as
left-handedness. I could go on ednlessly about why lefties are better than
righties, but I have other things to do. I'll conclude this with a list
of famous left-handers.
Oscar de la
Kasuto of Kataan
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